forbidden love

lucy chen

tw- domestic violence, self harm, depression, ed

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i walk into the locker room to get change looking around to make sure no one is in here with me i take my uniform off and get into my tee- shirt and leggings i look into the mirror and put my hand on my neck seeing how red it is, i can see the bruises staring to form the hand prints on my neck, i tear is falling off my cheek. i hear the door open i wiped the tear away and look to see who it is, it's lopez and harper. they come in laughing about something. i finish grabbing all my stuff and head to the door harper stops me "chen! your neck" she said "oh yeah it's nothing really" i said, harper looks at lopez with a concern look on her face "that's nothing are you okay?" lopez says. "yeah don't worry about it, it's apart of the job." i said and i walked out.

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jackson: i'm in the car hurry up!

lucy: i'm coming! hold on

jackson: oh by the way john is in here i have to give him a ride home his car broke down

lucy: oh okay.

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i get into the back seat since john is in the front seat "so do y'all wanna go out and drink to celebrate our first day?" jackson said very cheerfully "i'm down" john said "not really, i want to head back to my place i have a lot of things to do, plus my boyfriend is waiting on me." i said "party pooper" jackson said sarcastically "you have a boyfriend?" john said sounding very shocked. "yeah i do." i said. "yeah she does! he's very nice you should meet him!" jackson said. "yeah i should i guess." john said, he sounded upset but it's not like we dated for long it was just casual "okay can we leave please" i said, jackson stated the car and drove off.

ding! my phone went off

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cody: are you on the way back yet?

lucy: yes i am! just passing by target

cody: can you stop at the store and pick up some beer and food? i'm hungry and just ran out of beer.

lucy: yup! anything specific?

cody: i don't care

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"hey jackson can you stop here i need some stuff for dinner" i said "yup! what are you making can i have some?" jackson said "um i don't know yet, and probably not, cody doesn't want any guest over right now." i said, jackson pulled into the parking lot and i run inside to grab the stuff i need. "something seems up with lucy" jackson said "yeah i think something's wrong."  john said "has she said anything to you?" jackson asked john "nope, you?" john said "no" jackson replied. i get back into the car and they are staring at me "what?" i said "are you okay?" they both asked "yeah i'm fine, why?" i said "you seem off" jackson said, i looked at him "well i'm fine, can we get going?" i said, i kind of snapped at him.

we got back to my place i grab my bags and head into the apartment waving goodbye to them. i walk into the apartment and it's a mess, cody has been out of work now for month and moved in. "hey baby" cody said not looking back at me. "hey babe, how was your day?" i said "oh it was fine, did you get my stuff" he asked "yes i did" he finally looks at me and noticed my neck. "who the hell did that to you?" he said, he sounded angry "some dude who tried killing his wife" i replied he walks up to me kisses me on the cheek and grabs the beer i bought. "so did you find a job today?" i said changing the topic "nope still looking" as he cracked open a can. "so what are you making for dinner?" he asked "i'm making tacos!" i said, "oooh good my favorite" he said, i went to put my bag into the room, as i sat down on the bed to take my shoes off i notice some blonde hair on my side of the bed. i brush it off known i have blonde highlight but they aren't that blonde, i hav a feeling he's been cheating but i've been too scared to say anything. i can't speak my mind in this relationship and it scares me.

as i'm finishing up dinner cody is already on his 4th can of beer, "did you only buy one case?" cody asks "um yeah?" i said "jesus women.." he whispers under his breath. "dinners ready babe" i said, i hand him his plate and as i'm about to make mine he told me "you shouldn't have any, you're gaining weight." my face drops, i went pale. "oh.." i said "what you are, i don't need to been seen with a fat bitch" he said "you're right.." i said putting my plate down "i think there's some left over salad from last night, eat that instead" cody said "okay i will" i said grabbing it out of the fridge.

"here" cody says handing me a jar of pills "what are these?" i said "weight loss pills" cody replied, i stared at them wanting to yell at him "oh thanks i guess" i said "is that attitude?" he yelled "what no" he slaps me across my face, i just stood there in shock not knowing what to do. i could hit him back but he always had some sort of weapon with him i just apologized and went back to the room. i sat on the bed crying, i decided just to shower and go to bed it was already 9:30pm at this point. i get into the bathroom and looking in the mirror i see how red my face is getting, i locked the bathroom door. trying to hold myself together i grab the pills he gave me and took 2 of them, "hopefully i'll be skinny enough for him to love me" thinking to myself. while in the shower i see cody razors he uses to shave, i grab it looking at my legs, i cut seeing the blood run down, i do it again and again until i can't take it anymore.