lucy chen

365 4 0
                                    

tw- depression and domestic violence

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lucy's childhood

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"breath in, breath out" i said repeating to myself, just like my therapist said, hearing the glass shatter on the floor was something that sets off panic attacks, *knocking* i freeze trying to stay quiet laying in my bed, the door opens it's my dad, "i'm sorry honey, i hate for you to hear this" he said, i didn't respond pretending to be asleep "honey?" he said. didn't say anything again. i wanted to scream at him, asking him why does he stay, and just to leave me and mom alone for the rest of our lives. he finally left my room, i start crying, trying not to freak out i called my best friend sam "sam, i need you" i said "what's going on?!" she said very concerned, "it's my parents i can't deal with this anymore, please can i stay at your house tonight?" i said "i'm so sorry luce but i can't, conner is here can i call you later?" she responded "oh.. yeah that's fine" i hung up

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the next day i woke up and got ready for school, creeping downstairs so my mom wouldn't hear me and try to make a lame apology about last night, it failed "lucy!" my mom said, "oh hey" i responded "hey honey, i'm so sorry about last night" she said "it's fine, whatever i'm going to be late" i said, "hey don't give me attitude" my mom said "sorry but why are you still with him? he's isn't good for you or us, you guys are always fighting!" i yelled before she could respond i said "it's pathetic really, you lower your standards for a man who mentally abuses you! he is going to hurt you or me one day!" i said and walked out the door before she could say anything.

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mom: when you get home phone on the table!

lucy: okay fine.

mom: i'm sick of this attitude, it's getting ridiculous are you actually going to your session? because we pay a lot of money for that!

lucy: okay i'm sorry and yes mom i'm going

mom: i'm going to talk to her when i get into the office

lucy: why? that's personal

mom: you're my daughter, your privacy is mine too.

lucy: mmh okay.

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"lucy! would you like to share with the class what youre doing on the phone?" mr. jones said "no sir, sorry i'll put it away" i said "that's what i thought" mr. jones said, i sat the rest of the class embarrassed and hoping he won't call my mom about it. the bell rings "hey what was that about" sam said walking up to me "oh just my mom, we are fighting..again" i said "oh i'm sorry about that, and about last night i hope you aren't upset?" sam said "oh don't worry about it" saying that with a fake smile, sam gave me concern, looked as we walked out, going to our lockers, trying to lift my spirit. she asked me if i'm  excited for the school dance, "oh i don't think i'm going" i said "what!!! no you have to go!!" sam said "i don't have anyone to go with, plus i don't have a dress!" i said "welll i have some dresses or we could go dress shopping? and my brother would take you, you know he would." sam said in excitement "i don't know sam, plus i don't know if my parents will let me, i'm kind of in trouble with my mom." i said "well i'm going to text her and ask if you can come to the mall with me and try on dance dresses!" she said sending a text "what! no" i said trying to grab her phone but it was too late.

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after school sam and i walked to her car, "so what color do you want?" sam said, "i don't know, plus i don't really want to go." i responded. "you're going." sam said "plus my brother agreed to take you!" she also said "fine." i said, we got to the mall and went into some stores. "come out!!! i want to see it!!" sam said "sam this isn't me, i don't like it" i said "come out now!" sam said, i walked out "oh wow... you look amazing!!" sam said. "really? you think it's that good?" i said "yes!!! you're buying it! how much?" sam said "umm it's 169.99" i said "this is really expensive sam.." i said changing back into my regular clothes, i walked out and she grab the dress running up to the counter "sam! no" i said yelling at her. "too lateeeee!!" she said handing the cash over

 "too lateeeee!!" she said handing the cash over

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- the dress -

"i hate you sometimes you know that right?" i said "i love you too!" sam said

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