until the end of time | seungjoo

:𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔢:

The next few days Seungmin was once again very upset. Walking out of his room, looking through the window in Jooyeon's room's door, seeing him either asleep or absent, going back to his room, visiting the other kids in the playroom, going back to see if Jooyeon is ready to play with him, became a routine.

Not having enough energy, Jooyeon would usually go to sleep much earlier than even two weeks ago, and Seungmin was a bit hurt, but more than feeling like that because they didn't get to spend time together as much as previously, he was hurt because the boy tried to mask his annoyance, and more than anything, embarrassment, while telling Seungmin that he wants to sleep, because he simply was on a verge of hanging on with what little strength he had.

Seungmin offered that he could stay with him in bed one night, so that they could sleep together, meaning they would spend a lot of the time with each other, but strangely, Jooyeon did not allow him to do that.

It was unusual of him, but Seungmin decided to understand him. Maybe he was scared of them getting caught together? But they both did not have any night examinations that night, so that would be impossible... still, he decided not to question this behaviour he called strange.

When he was alone, he would read books, or think... thinking became his unwanted hobby since the gears in his head started turning and turning; it felt like he couldn't stop them no matter how much he hated the things he would come to.

Everything indicated one thing... or no. Seungmin wasn't sure, or more precisely, didn't want to be sure. He preferred to pretend none of the things forming in his head were the way he thought, and that every single aspect of his life was perfect.

But thinking about what had been happening around lately, he couldn't help, but clench his fists and try his best not to shed a tear.

He couldn't recall the moment it hit him. Maybe it happened overnight, it came to him gradually, or maybe he smelled it somewhere in the air without thinking much about it.

Maybe a thought of it appeared in his head the day he heard that one of the patients in the hospital died, or the day Jooyeon's parents left him strangely with too many gifts and hugged him way longer than usual, or maybe the moment he started going to sleep much earlier than anyone else Seungmin knew.

Whatever that was... Seungmin didn't want to name the consequences.

Actually, he tried to forget about it, because what if by thinking about it he would make it happen? Maybe he was all wrong, and in reality everything was great, and he was just imagining things? That's what he wanted to believe, but it did not work... not at all.

Whenever he closed his eyes, or put the book away from his face, he heard his own voice saying the worst things he could ever imagine. It was hard and tiring—even exhausting.

Once he even woke up—in cold sweat, panting heavily—because he had the worst nightmare ever. Even thinking about it now made him shiver and feel numb.

In this dream he was running with Jooyeon as usual, and as they were running and running Seungmin heard a thin voice behind him, telling him to slow down, and then... BANG, he turned around just to see Jooyeon lying on the floor, and standing there, mere metres from each other, he could hear his heart beating very slowly, then abnormally quickly, and then... nothing. He fell to the floor as his knees gave out, and tried his best to wake him up by shaking his shoulders or even pinching him on his arm, but nothing. Nothing.

Then he panicked, and woke up.

Tears streaming down his cheeks, heavy pain in his chest, and the fatiguing coughing that seemed to be endless.

The Sister quickly materialised in his room and took him to the doctor to help him calm down (before they did so, Seungmin probably managed to wake almost everyone up), and then he was given some medicine, and put to the bed once again, this time falling asleep without any unpleasant dreams.

"Tag!" Hyeongjun screamed, making Seungmin realise he was in the playroom with all five boys (and some other kids).

"I am not playing with you!" He replied very sternly, though his voice was a bit shaky, as if he were to cry. "I wanna do something else."

"What then?" Hyeongjun furrowed his brows, sitting on the edge of the table next to Seungmin.

"Board games...?" Seungmin said, which sounded more like a question.

"It's for idiots." Rolling his eyes, the brunette came up to Gunil, hitting him on the arm to indicate that he was now going to chase him and the others (although no one else wanted to play tag). "What's wrong with you, Seungmin?"

"Nothing."

He did not feel like running. He knew it was out of the ordinary, but he just couldn't get up and laugh now.

"You are behaving really weirdly," he ran a hand through his hair and once again, rested his hips against the table, with a little difference, now he was staring at Seungmin with a note of annoyance all over his face. "Did you and her kiss, or what?"

The girl that made fun of Seungmin's parents he meant.

"N-no," he shook his head.

"Or are you jealous that I am leaving the hospital in two days?"

Hyeongjun was leaving? Seungmin did not know. He had been so thoughtful for the past few days that he did not encode this in his head.

And yes, his skin may have gotten better (meaning it was no longer golden), but Seungmin did not imagine any of his friends leaving this place. They were there together for weeks, if not months, and it felt weird to say farewell to them, it only meant one thing; they weren't going to see each other ever again.

"What?" Seungmin looked at Hyeongjun; a broad smile stretching his lips. "You are leaving?"

"Yes," he nodded proudly. "I'm no longer sick, so... I'm afraid I'm no longer needed here."

And that's how it went. As promised, Hyeongjun left the hospital two days later, and his leaving hurt Seungmin. He only wondered how he would feel when.. oh well. He shook his head, and looked at Jooyeon waving goodbye at Hyeongjun. 

He did not want to know.