until the end of time | seungjoo

:𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔢𝔢𝔫:

It was the first time Seungmin saw him look that way. He was just one step from opening the door to his room, but he restrained himself from doing so the moment he saw Jooyeon lying in his bed, staring somewhere at the wall, and... doing nothing.

Just staring.

And by the way his eyes looked, Seungmin assumed a lot of things. Starting from the fact that Jooyeon was not feeling well.

The way he simply laid in the bed, looking nowhere, his eyes empty and mind seemingly so distant, made him look fragile, weak and sad. Nothing like how he normally acted and looked. Nothing like the laughing boy Seungmin always played with. There was no twinkle in the eyes; only emptiness.

It couldn't be a good thing, and that was how it was.

Hands clasped on top of his chest, the annoying machine on the left of his room, and the quiet beeping noise. He did not even move his head to check the way his heart was beating at that specific moment. It was as if he was already resigned to his fate.

Meaning, Jooyeon also knew. He knew very well what was going on.

Seungmin swallowed hard. As much as he wanted to talk to him now, hug him, play with him, laugh with him, he couldn't. The clench on his throat didn't allow him to do anything. The blurry vision didn't help. The only rescue for him now was to go to his own room and bury his face in his pillow and hug his blue bear very tightly.

He could not take it. He didn't want to.

No matter how far it would go, he would never fully understand it. He, a dumb stupid child, as he cursed under his breath, would never reconcile with the fact that it was going to be the way it was.

That his friend was going to die.

It was the first time the gears in the head formed this sentence. Jooyeon was going to die. Soon or later, he was going to disappear from there and there was no way in the world Seungmin could help him.

The tears rolled down his cheeks and he just could not resist it anymore. In a snap, he started sobbing. He was sure that it was loud enough for others to hear him, but he didn't care. He couldn't care less when his little friend; his bubbly and affectionate, always full of joy, friend was going to die.

Biting the pillow with his teeth, he squinted his eyes. Why was it the way it was? Why?

He couldn't find the answer to these questions, because strangely there was no answer. And he hated being left puzzled; not knowing every detail about anything. This time there were no details nor even generalities, and it made his head throb very uncontrollably as if it was about to burst within seconds.