until the end of time | seungjoo

:𝔢𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔢𝔫:

Seeing his parents by his bed was not a really expected thing. After all, they were said to be abroad. Still, them being next to him didn't make him smile even a little bit.

He turned himself in the bed, and hid his face in the soft cushion that weirdly contrasted with everything happening around him lately.

"Baby," he heard his mother's soft voice. She was right beside him with her slender hand caressing his cold skin. "You're alright... we're there."

He was not alright. No matter what.

For the past few days he experienced something he had never thought he would in his entire life. He was restless, his body ached with endless emotions appearing in every curve and corner of his little body, he couldn't close his eyes no matter how tired he was.

He couldn't fall asleep knowing that he wasn't there anymore.

His parents came to him after a lot of calls made from the reception, because supposedly suddenly his health deteriorated significantly, which in fact was more than just right.

He would cough more often than usual, and the attacks were harder to bear with, leaving him rabid with his chest moving like crazy. It felt like he was suffocating.

"Mom and father are there, darling..." she looked at him all worried. After having talked with the doctor she learnt one thing that made her heart skip a beat, and cause her head to spin very quickly.

"His friend died, and that's mainly the reason for his asthmatic attacks. Sometimes people get sick after losing someone. Illness often accompanies bereavement."

But Seungmin is so young - she thought that moment, hiding her face behind her long fingers. She only hoped it wasn't going to last for long. She didn't want her child to feel the way he felt now.

He was lying in his bed, and as his parents also learnt from the talk with the doctor, he didn't even want to leave his bed. He was very stubborn—didn't listen to anyone, didn't want to eat—everything about the way he behaved was so off.

He was not himself.

"We are there..." she kept on repeating, as Seungmin seemed to shiver under her touch.

He loved cuddling, but now it seemed meaningless. Why would he do that?

He loved talking with his parents whenever they were next to him, but once again it seemed so meaningless. He didn't have anyone to talk to about what had happened near his house after the conversation ended.

"But he's not there," was all he managed to utter that day.

His parents kept on visiting him almost daily from that day, trying their best to show him all the support he needed, but still, it was pretty hard for them to make him feel any better.

Without his Jooyeon every indefatigable attempt of making him smile was hopeless.

Seungmin throughout his next days in the hospital cried a lot. He found doing anything so hard, as if functioning was a thing he visibly lacked at.

His parents quickly understood that he did not want any help from there, or anyone else, that he did not want to talk to anyone, and more than anything, that he blamed everyone and everything for what had happened to Jooyeon.

Being there, in the hospital, without him, felt so wrong. How could he be alive when he was not? He barely managed to understand that... or not.

In fact, he did not understand any of what had happened for the past few days. He was trying to... but it was too intricate.

All Seungmin did every day was lay in his room and hug Zorro hoping for the bad dream to finally leave him alone and let him breathe freely, and think freely.

He tried to play with others—tried—but it was not it. He didn't even want to eat a single candy when Friday approached. He just shook his head, and even though Sister insisted on him taking one, he refused it. It didn't feel right.

Doing all the stuff that made him and Jooyeon laugh that even tears formed in their eyes, and their bellies ached, didn't feel right alone.

They weren't as fun. They weren't fun even a little bit.

And as his eyes traced his own room, he noticed the drawer where he kept all the drawings Jooyeon ever gave him, and something twisted and turned in his stomach.

His face—akin to a strawberry—darkened and a tear fell to the drawing with a lot of planets on it. It was one of the first drawings Jooyeon has ever given to him, and one that broke his heart into pieces.

He looked up to the sky, searching for every single planet that he had portrayed on the paper in his hands, and even though he couldn't find them, he let out a shaky sigh escape his trembling lips.

They were said to travel there together, but now the only thing that swirled in his head as he kept staring at them was the hunch that Jooyeon was there now alone, without him.

A few days later, Seungmin went through a lot of things.

It was the first time he ever ran across the hospital at such speed. Nothing else could ever make him gain strength this suddenly but seeing a light in Jooyeon's room.

So he was still there. He was all wrong. Jooyeon was still there.

A smile tugged on his face, as he rushed to the door, feeling everything building in his body—hearing all the questions be created ("Why did you do this to me? It was the least funny joke you've ever made! Where were you? Do you feel strong enough for me to read you something now? Or do you perhaps want to play with cars?"), seeing everything around him in much more vivid colours than even seconds before—and finally, feeling delighted enough to let out a quiet giggle before entering the room.

He looked through the window in the door first—just as he would always do—and gasped.

All the strength turning into weight, all the questions turning into worries, all the colours washing away, and the smile turning into a small circle. He was not ready for that.

There was a person in the room, but the thing was... this person was not Jooyeon.

It was a little boy, probably older than him, that sat on the bed with his arms crossed, and eyes closed. He didn't want to be there, and neither did Seungmin.

He turned around, noticed doctor Younghyun very close to him (his eyebrows were narrowed, if it needs to be added), and ran away, closing himself in his own room again.

So it was true that he wasn't there.

It was not a bad joke everyone tried to make, but a reality.

And the doctor... he was still the same! Even after their talk. He did not change. He still looked at him that way. He looked as if he didn't care about his little friend, and was angry with Seungmin, when it should be otherwise.

Seungmin knew that he would never forgive him for the things he had done to Jooyeon. He could not understand that at all.

How could he even do that? Was Jooyeon not good enough?

He couldn't really understand that he was gone. That he, who did no harm to anyone, he, who smiled at Seungmin and made his days pleasant there, was really gone.

It was so hard to imagine that he was not with him anymore. That, no matter how much Seungmin wanted to go and play with him, he couldn't, because he wasn't there anymore.

Seungmin couldn't even grasp it, or imagine. He was sitting in his room alone, where even two weeks ago, he had been laughing with Jooyeon. Thinking about it was hard, understanding even harder.

It was as if he was still deep in the conviction that if he got up from the floor and walked to Jooyeon's room, he would be there waiting for him in the bed—smiling at him, and giggling as Seungmin stumbled over the step into the room.

But hey, he went there a few hours ago, and there was no sign of Jooyeon. There was some other boy, whom Seungmin didn't even want to hear about.