Depressing Poems

167

We used to be close, didn't we?

What happened?

Was my personality too boring?

Is that why you left me?

Is my personality not as good as theirs?

Is that why you all left me?

Abandoned me?

You may say I'm overreacting at the fact that you guys never include me.

But I was there.

Didn't you notice?

You never invited me.

You never greeted me.

You never talked to me once.

Until your other friends left.

I'm your last choice, and I know you'd rather go to an acquaintance than a "friend".

I'm that "friend".

Don't tell me I'm overreacting, because I know I'm not.

I feel this way, and I feel this way for a reason:

I'm hurt.

That's why I feel pain from caring too much.

That's why I feel pain from my desperation.

That's why I give unnecessary gifts to please you.

So please, stop hurting me.

From not including me?

Sure.

But more specifically, for not loving me.

So I'm sorry, but I may have to leave.

Not for your sake; for your relief,

But for mine.

I can't stick with people

Who abandon me at the sight of someone else.

Who never includes me no matter how obviously lonely I am, not in the corner, but out in the open.

Who shows absolutely no genuine interest in my fascination.

I can't stick with people

That don't love me as much as I love them.

That don't love me at all.

So I'm grateful.

Thank you for showing me your nonexistent love.

Thank you for making me realize that I should never chase people who don't love me back, because then I'll never learn to love myself.

Thank you for making me realize how much effort I put into our friendship when in fact, it wasn't a friendship at all—only a one-sided love between me and my desperation for you.

So please, leave me alone for now.

Because I know our friend will not, and cannot, ever be a mutual one.

It cannot be one with the same love I give you.

Goodbye, ________.