We had a meeting today with Jonas and he was announcing the squad for an upcoming game. It was an important match against Chelsea. Me and Jonas didn't really get on. We would disagree on things and I don't think he appreciated me voicing my opinion on his coaching style. But I had been working so hard for the last month to secure my place in the starting lineup and everyone had noticed my improvement. If Jonas didn't put me in the lineup it wouldn't be because of my ability it would be because he didn't like me.
I was sat in the meeting room, and as the room filled up Leah took the seat next to me. I shot her a smile which she returned. I focused back on Jonas, not letting Beth's giggles behind me distract me as i impatiently waited for the announcement.
He read of the names of the players who were starting and I waited until he was finished , hoping my name was last but when he dismissed us and my name hadn't been called out I couldn't stop the anger bubbling inside me. I was ready to explode. This wasn't fair and the confused looks the girls gave me made me believe they agreed.
I felt Leah's eyes on me, her confusion obvious by the look on her face but I couldn't speak. I was afraid that if I started talking I wouldn't be able to stop and that would completely ruin my chances of getting into the lineup in the future.
I stood up, the force of my movement causing the chair to make a loud screeching noise as I did. Jonas's eyes caught mine and I knew he could see the anger in my face but all he did was smile and that infuriated me more. I had enough of his unprofessionalism. I stormed out of the room. The anger escaping in the form of frustrated tears as I quickly made my way to the bathroom not wanting anyone to see how affected I was, I didn't want Jonas to get the satisfaction.
I pushed open the door, the sound of it echoing in the empty bathroom. Anger rushed to my face and I felt my body heat up. I needed to release it before I exploded. I turned around sending my fist through the wall beside the door. I didn't feel the pain I just felt the relief wash over my body, but it didn't last for long. I went into a cubicle, closing and locking the door behind me. I sat on the closed toilet seat, my head falling into my hands as i let the frustrated tears fall from my eyes again. I felt stupid. But I didn't know what to do. If I spoke to him about it he would say I wasn't good enough to be in the squad but he would be lying. I knew I was. But there was no way of proving he was doing it out of spite which he most definitely was.
I pulled my hands away from my face when i felt a throbbing in my left hand. I took a look at it 'fuck' I muttered under my breath as I saw blood trickling down my knuckles. But before I could do anything I heard the door open and someone call my name. It was Leah
"Y/n I know you're in here. Open the door" she said as her footsteps stopped outside the cubicle I was inside. I knew I couldn't stay in here forever no matter how much I wanted to.
With an annoyed sigh I opened the door, not looking into her concerned eyes as I walked past her to the sink. I turned on the tap trying to wash away the blood that was still dripping down my hand. The water caused the open cut to sting so I pulled my hand away with a flinch, catching Leah's attention. She moved from behind me to standing beside me, leaning against the sink looking at me.
"What did you do" she asked, her words laced with worry and a hint of disappointment
I didn't reply, just nodded my head towards the hole in the wall beside the door. She sighed once she saw the damage I had done. She got some tissue and wet them under the sink, silently taking my swelling hand in her own. Her eyes met mine.
" you deserve to be in the lineup, y/n. I don't know what is going on between the two of you but he has no right to stop you from playing because of it. It's not fair and very unprofessional" she said, her words firm as she gently cleaned up my hand
I felt my eyes burning, I didn't want to cry again but I just felt like an idiot. I had let my temper stop me from doing my job again.
Leah noticed my eyes becoming glassy and her face softened. She pulled me into her. I normally hated hugs but this felt different. The amount of comfort being in her arms provided me was weird. I sighed into her shoulder as she rubbed my back.
"Go and get your hand bandaged up and I'll go talk to Kim. Everyone thinks you should be in the lineup. Kim will talk to him okay" she said pulling away from the hug
I nodded wiping the stray tears that escaped my eye during our embrace.
"Thank you, Leah" I said my voice barley above a whisper. I wasn't just thanking her for her words I was also thanking her for the hug I didn't know I needed, from the look in her eye I think she understood that.
I left the bathroom, heading to the medic room while Leah went to find Kim.
