Ever since me and my ex broke up he has been constantly texting and calling me. I answered the first time but I instantly regretted it. He wanted to get back together after everything he did to me in our 2 year relationship. He was manipulative and just a horrible man and I was glad I got out of there when I did, so him asking for me back made my blood boil. I had moved in with Leah when we broke up last month and she has been great, she didn't know full story as to why it ended but she knew he wasn't a good person and was happy to let me stay while I tried to find an apartment.
I had decided to turn my phone off not wanting to be distracted by his incessant calls during training.
Training had finished and it was intense. I turned my phone on and nearly 100 notifications immediately came through. Seeing that they were all from josh, my ex, made my already bad moody worse. He was telling me I had to go and get the rest of my things from his house. Wanting the calls and messages to end I agreed and told him I would be there in 20 minutes.
Leah was sat next to me, and she glanced up after she tied her laces obviously noticing my change in mood.
"Is it josh?" She asked, the distaste's she felt towards him coming out in her tone.
"Yeah" I sighed, just feeling exhausted and so over the situation. I began packing my bag as Leah watched me
"I'm going to get my stuff from his house, I'm hoping he will leave me alone after that" I told her, already knowing she won't like the idea but I was at my wits end with him.
Leah stood up, looking at me, her face scrunched with concern
"Y/n, I don't think that's a good idea, he's unpredictable. You don't know what could happen" she told me, trying to get through to me but I was determined, determined for him to be out of my life for good
"I'll be fine leah, don't worry. I'll be home in an hour" I told her, giving her a reassuring smile and picking my bag up
She sighed, frustrated that I wouldn't listen to her but she didn't try and stop me as I left the changing room and made my way to my car.
I got to his house quickly, and took a deep breath to steady my nerves before I got out the car. He scared me, not matter how much I told myself and Leah I would be okay, you never know with josh.
I knocked on his door and he opened it almost instantly.
"Your stuff in the kitchen" he said, stepping to the side to let me in, his tone was upbeat but i could see right through him. It wouldn't take much for him to turn
I followed him into the kitchen. Being in this house again filled me with so many emotions, all of them bad. I hadn't felt safe or at home here for most of our relationship, i was just too scared to leave him.
There was a small bag filled with my stuff on the kitchen table, I grabbed it, not wanting to be here any longer than I had to be. I didn't want to speak to him, I was so angry at the way he had been harassing me for the last month but when I tried to leave he stood in front of the door, blocking my only exit. I felt my heartbeat pick up.
"Josh u need to move" I told him firmly, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice but doing a poor job
His face that was once in a slight smile drops
"We need to talk. You were the one who fucked our relationship up" he said his voice full of venom
"No. Move" I tell him, ignoring the fact he's blaming our breakup on me when he was the abusive one. I try to get past him but he's not budging
"Don't talk to me like that" he barks, his voice low as he roughly grabs my arm to stop me from leaving.
I know this won't end well but I know I need to leave before he does anything else. I can feel my hands shaking as I try and get out of his grip.
"STOP" he shouts, his face only inches from mine. I don't listen to him and keep trying to get out of his grip, dropping my bag in the process.
I suddenly felt a sharp pain right below my eye. He punched me. I freeze just staring at him. He had never hit me before but he had come close. I slowly bring my hand to my throbbing face, feeling the sting when I lightly graze my fingers across it
He looks shocked at his own actions and I took that as my only opportunity to leave. I pick up my bag and quickly move past him to the front door slamming it behind me.
Once I'm in my car, I pull the mirror down to look at my face. I sigh when I see the purple bruise already forming under my eye. As I stared into the small mirror I tried to fight the tears threatening to fall, I had put myself in that position knowing what he was capable of. I should've listened to Leah.
I started the car, and began driving home trying to ignore the banging headache that was getting worse by the second.
Pulling into the driveway, I got out the car and grabbed my training bag, choosing to leave the other one behind. I didn't want to be reminded of him every time I looked at it.
I unlocked the front door, stepping inside. I took my shoes off and dropped my bag next to them. I could hear the tv on in the living room, letting me know Leah was most likely in there. I wanted to lie to her and say it wasn't josh who had caused the black eye because I was embarrassed that I had put myself in that situation again but I couldn't. I couldn't lie to Leah.
I tried to pull myself together before she saw me but it was difficult. I could already feel my lip trembling and I knew if I tried to speak I would break down in tears and I didn't want to cry right now.
When Leah looked up at me from the sofa she gave me a smile, but it soon dropped when she saw my face and the bruise. I could feel my eyes filling with tears and no matter how much I tried to blink them away they wouldn't leave.
Leah jumped off the sofa, standing in front of me and softly placing her hands on my shoulder, aligning our faces
"What did he do?" She asked, her tone gentle and her eyebrows furrowed with concern as she examined the damage he had done to my face.
I felt my chest tighten, I took a deep, shaky breath trying to find my voice to explain what had happened but no sound left my lips, instead the tears I had been fighting finally came flooding down my cheeks. Leah immediately pulled me into a tight hug. Just being back there and experiencing the emotions i thought I'd never have to feel again was so overwhelming, not to mention him punching me in the face.
Once I had calmed down a bit, thanks to Leah, she sat me down on the sofa and disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, reappearing with some ice and cloth. She sat down beside me and placed it on my face causing me to wince slightly as pain rushed to my head.
"Sorry" she said quietly
"I'm going to kill him for doing this to you" she let out, her words laced with venom, they normally were when she spoke about josh and I couldn't blame her for hating him. I did too.
"I don't want to think about him tonight, my head is killing me and I just want to sleep" i said, my voice hoarse from crying.
I took the ice from Leah, leaving in on my face as it was helping to sting and hopefully reducing the swelling. Leah went back into the kitchen and when she came back she handed me 2 painkillers and a glass of water. I thanked her tiredly as I took them.
She sat next to me again, turning the volume down on the tv and pulling the blanket over us as I snuggled into her side. I didn't want to talk about what happened earlier. I felt so drained, I just wanted him to leave me alone and hopefully he would now. Leah gently played with my hair and with the help of her and the painkillers I fell into a needed sleep. I knew I had to deal with josh, maybe even going to the police but i would have Leah by my side and that's all that mattered.
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Not sure how I feel about this, it's very long but let me know your thoughts and would appreciate some ideas xx
