I don't know how to feel anymore. So much has happened to me and everyone around me. We've been through so much these past two years. I never thought I'd have to hide from my problems again. What if I die from all this? I almost did, but I don't really believe I'm going to die. All I want to do is panic and stay in my room and rot away.
What's with Eric? How would I know? Did Eric just want to use me for fun? Why me? I don't know what to do—I'm freaking out. Who knows why he got with me? Was it just to play with Jace or to play with me? What the fuck. How could I be so stupid to fall for things that aren't even real when I can't even figure them out for myself? I'm just stuck in a void of despair.
I miss Jace a lot. He never explained anything to me, and I'm wondering more and more about him each day. What if he is causing these problems? He seems bad but good at the same time. It doesn't make any sense. Why would Jace do all of this? I want to find out more, whatever it takes to get answers. But truly, he wouldn't kill me, right? He cares for me.
