Not Her || HAOBIN

Ch# 13 - SWEAT

Ricky took a deep breath, his heart breaking as he looked into Gyuvin's sincere eyes. The small smile on Gyuvin's face made it even harder, like a knife twisting in his gut. He wanted to tell him, to be honest, but seeing that smile—so trusting, so full of warmth—he just couldn't do it. He couldn't break Gyuvin's heart, not like this.

"Ricky, what's wrong?" Gyuvin asked softly, noticing the turmoil in Ricky's eyes. He leaned in closer, his concern growing. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I trust you."

Ricky's heart clenched at those words. I trust you. He felt like he was going to be sick. How could he say it? How could he look Gyuvin in the eyes and shatter that trust?

"I... I just..." Ricky's voice cracked, his throat tightening as he struggled to find the right words. He glanced away, unable to hold Gyuvin's gaze any longer. "Gyuvin, have you ever... I mean, what would you do if someone you trusted... I don't know... betrayed you?"

Gyuvin's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean? Are you talking about someone else? Did something happen?"

Ricky shook his head, swallowing hard. "No, I'm just... I'm just asking. Like, hypothetically."

Gyuvin tilted his head, still confused. "Hypothetically? Ricky, what's going on? Why are you asking me these weird questions? Did someone do something to you?"

Ricky's heart pounded in his chest, the weight of his guilt pressing down on him. He could feel his hands trembling, and he clenched them into fists to stop the shaking. He took another deep breath, his voice barely above a whisper. "Gyuvin, what if... what if I told you I did something... something really bad?"

Gyuvin's eyes widened slightly, the confusion on his face deepening. "Ricky, what are you talking about? What did you do?"

Ricky's throat tightened even more, his voice choking up as he tried to speak. "I... I read your diary, Gyuvin."

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. The silence between them was deafening. Gyuvin stared at Ricky, his eyes wide with shock and disbelief. "What... what did you just say?"

Ricky's eyes welled up with tears as he kept his gaze down, unable to face the hurt in Gyuvin's eyes. "I'm sorry, Gyuvin. I read your diary. I didn't mean to, but... I did. I know I shouldn't have. I know I broke your trust, but I couldn't help it..."

Gyuvin shook his head slowly, as if trying to process what he had just heard. "No... no, you're lying. You wouldn't do that. Ricky, please... tell me you're lying."

Ricky's tears began to fall freely now, his heart aching as he saw the pain in Gyuvin's eyes. "I'm not lying, Gyuvin. I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I read it, and I found out how you feel about me..."

"No!" Gyuvin shouted, standing up abruptly, his hands clenched into fists. He felt as if the whole world around him was spinning, his heart pounding in his chest. "You're lying! You're fucking lying! You would never do that to me!"

Ricky kept his gaze down, unable to bear the sight of Gyuvin's pain. "I'm not lying, Gyuvin. I wish I were, but I'm not. I did it, and I hate myself for it."

"No!" Gyuvin's voice was sharp, almost desperate. "No, Ricky, you're wrong. You wouldn't do that to me. You wouldn't break my trust like that. You're lying. This is some kind of sick joke, right? Tell me it's a joke!"

Ricky shook his head, the tears blurring his vision. "It's not a joke, Gyuvin. I swear, I'm not lying. I read your diary, and I know... I know everything."