Regret

18-20

18

I finally did it!

I told Luna I liked Jacobs, oh, I mean Chase.

I told her at the end of October.

She was very mad at first that I didn't tell her but understood why. She knew now that she, along with Samantha, were going to have to try very hard to not make it obvious every time Chase and I were by each other.

Luckily, Luna and Samantha didn't have classes together, or with Chase.

Unluckily, I found out Chase did in fact have lunch with me, and Samantha.

But, they were happy, a little too happy in fact, that I liked such a cute, polite, shy boy.

***

19

I chopped my hair off right before our first orchestra concert. Well, okay, not chopped. It was between the bottom of my ears and my shoulders, in layers.

But, it was 24 inches shorter and I was two pounds lighter.

I donated it!

Everyone loved it, including me! I don't know why I didn't do it sooner.

***

20

Chase kept staring at me from across the lunchroom.

Every day!

I sit on the mini stage up a few steps from the lunch room floor and he sits way back by the cafeteria doors.

It's actually wasn't cute after a while.

It also made me really subconscious of what weird things I was doing during lunch time and made thoughts flood into my mind.

"Does he like me too?' 'Is it my haircut?'

Boys are so hard to read!