Regret

7

About two weeks later, we had a new unit: tennis. Now that it was April and actually sort of warm outside, we played tennis, even when it rained.

I was on a team with Katie and a girl named Sam. Chase was with his baseball buddies, Adam and Kyle, on the court behind us.

We were halfway through our tennis unit, and we were putting away our rackets when I told him.

I don't think I would take back telling him, but I sure didn't plan on it. Blake just randomly butted into my conversation with Katie, complaining about how he didn't have a childhood.

I really don't know why Chase hung around by me, and not go run up to his friends, but he was right there. I was so tired that day, and Blake's complaining annoyed me, so I told him he had a way better childhood than me. He didn't believe me and started complaining more, probably just to spite me, which worked. Before I knew it, the words came out.

"I was rapped when I was seven, for a whole year. So no Blake, you had a childhood while I was stuck in counselor office after counselor office for a whole year after that." Then I quickly walked away, leaving behind Katie, along with a shocked Blake and Chase. Katie wasn't shocked because she was one of the few people who knew.

I heard running behind me, and suddenly Chase was right next to me. I slowed down, calming down.

"What was that about?" he asked.

"Nothing, it just slipped out." I mumbled. We slowed down more.

"That wasn't 'nothing' Brooke."

I sighed, and then I did something I don't regret doing. I explained it to him.

"Okay so my brother is a year older than me and his best friend was also a year older than me. His best friend, when I was about seven and a half, and he was almost nine, decided to play a game with me. But it wasn't a game. He made my brother watch as he rapped me for a whole year, pretty much every time we saw each other, which was a lot because our moms are best friends. I would always hang around him and my brother in his room, my brothers room, or at our babysitter, Lulu's house, in a blanket fort. One day, when I was eight and a half and they were ten, we spilt popcorn, causing Lulu to come over to help us. By the time she got to us and took down the tent, he was fully dressed and I was only in my underwear. He said he never did anything and don't know why I was undressed and so I explained the game to counselor after counselor. I really don't remember every detail, but the day we were caught feels like it happened a week ago. I remember every single detail."

By the time I finished, which wasn't that long, we were almost to the gym doors that led to the indoor weight room.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's not your fault. Just don't tell anyone okay? I don't even know why I told you" I answered.

"I'm glad you did tell me Brooke!" His friends spotted him and called him over, ending our conversation.

I barely saw him during the actual school day, besides gym. But during gym class the rest of the week, he kept an eye on me, like he was worried. Even when Blake wasn't around. But I still didn't like him more than just a friend, yet.