Regret

51-53

51

I never got to asking Chase to the dance.

I figured he was going anyways like he always did in the years before. Just by himself, tagging along with his friends.

But when I showed up to the dance, he wasn't there.

I went with Carmony. Her mom did my hair. It was very curly, like a teenage Shirley Temple. I looked like a fairy in my dress.

I danced with Carmony most of the night, and slow danced once with a junior who moved to school the week before.

What I noticed at the dance: Nate had a date, Landon had a date, even Chase's little brother had a date.They were all single, so their dates were just friends. But, Chase wasn't there, and he never showed.

The other thing I noticed: as soon as Nate and his friends saw me, they walked to the table that held their things and called someone. Over and over. Probably Chase, since they looked at me, staring, the rest of the night.

I should have asked Chase sooner instead of assuming he was going.

52

Right after the dance, I sent Nate a Facebook friend request.

Chase didn't have Facebook, so why not add his best friend?

I also came up with the conclusion that Nate was waiting for me to ask Chase to the dance, thus the reason for staring at me for two weeks and randomly talking to me. Even Chase's brother John kept an eye on me.

It's weird having three guys stare at you at the same time from different angles.

53

The Monday after the dance(see a pattern here with Monday's?) I came to school early and Chase was alone at a table, working on homework. A baseball bag on the table to his left.

"Hey Jacobs!" I say.

"Hey Brooke," he say back.

"Can I talk to you for five minutes?" I ask, walking over to him.

"Sure."

I sat two seats down, the bat bag in between us.

"Baseball?"

"Yeah. Tryouts are this week."

"Cool! I like baseball!" I say, then pause.

"What math is that?" I ask, it looks hard. Then again, math is the devil.

"Calculus," he says.

"Oh my brother took calculus when he was a senior. He graduated with your older sister. Yeah, he has a baby on the way now..." Why did I just say that?

"Oh. That's not good!"

"Yeah, I'm not as smart as him."

"Oh. You're smart enough."

"Hey, so you didn't go to the dance," I start, "why?"

He laughed softly. "Well I don't really like dances."

"Oh, well you missed out. I went cause I helped set up, but I saw your brother there."

"John?"

"Yeah, your brother, he looks like you when you were his age." Why am I rattling on about his brother, I sound like a stalker.

But my tongue comes before my mind around him.

"John." he says again.

"Yeah. And Nate and Landon. But not you."

"Oh well, yeah. Nate called me an hour du... before and asked but I didn't see the point."

Ha! They called him during the dance, not before.

"Yeah. I could see why. You would have to pay more at the door for less time dancing because you have to dress up."

He just nods his head.

"Sorry. I'm new at this friends thing. My mom kind of sheltered me from boys my whole life because of that thing I told you last year."

He looked at me confused. I raised my eyebrows and he must have remembered.

"Oh yeah, that," he says, going back to his math.

"Yeah. That. Don't mention that please."

"No problem."

"Yeah, so I'm weird. But I'm cool. I just embarrass myself a lot."

He smiles and laughs lightly.

"What? Stop laughing! It's not funny."

'Wow! This actually sounds like a normal conversation.' I thought.

"Hey, you wanna hang out sometime?" I ask

"Yeah, but not this weekend. I'm going skiing."

"Yeah, I have my nephew's birthday this weekend," I reply, then add, "well I'm gonna go. I have a Student Council Meeting. Have fun with math!"

"Bye Brooke."

He didn't avoid me the rest of the week and things felt normal again.

Although, Nate kept looking at me.