Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
🥘 three. dez vs the bear .⊹ °ʚ☆ɞ°.⭒₊
Odessa Sinclair would like to think, in retrospective, that she was philosophical. Like, yeah, she had panic attacks and she sometimes let her anger got the better of her in some moments, but she was still human. She was still human even though her skin burned hotter than the sun and her blood pressure sometimes rose because of how much stress she endured. Her skin still broke out in pimples too, but no matter what, she was still human.
She was still breathing unlike her mother who was rotting in the dirt.
But just like everyone else, Odessa would still believe that she was philosophical. She likes to think her life wasn't meaningless because some god put her on the earth for a reason and maybe that reason was to make art or cook food or be someone else entirely. She tried to find her reasoning when she turned fifteen years old because she realized that she was doing absolutely nothing.
It absolutely overwhelmed her, to the point where her heart would beat so hard in her chest that it felt like it would explode and her breathing would grow so heavy that it felt like ten tons of weight was tied to her lungs. Her chest would constrict tightly like something was being pushed down on it and she would cry for hours on end because that was the way she was.
People said that she was overreacting or overdramatic, but Mikey said that Odessa was just expressing herself.
That was nice because in the end, Odessa Sinclair was just a tiny dot in the universe that was sure to implode in the unforeseeable future and she wasn't just some woman with a dead mother, a comatosed father, and a shitty paycheck.
She was okay.
She felt okay as she sat in a room full of other people, listening to them talk about how their lives were when they lived with an alcoholic. Teary eyed wives or husbands, stone faced adults talking about how they were affected by their family members drinking. The Al-Anon room was located in the nearby church where people prayed sometimes and posters of the meetings would be displayed on cork boards or posted online. It didn't change the fact that people often came and filled in the chairs that were sprawled out across the floor.
It was still early in the morning and the attendees wore work clothes with their suitcases next to them or they were holding a coffee mug to keep awake because they kept snoozing.
After the meeting was over, Odessa pulled on her jacket and got up. She would share with them one day, but not today. Her eyes blinked a bit as she poured herself some black coffee that was offered during the meeting, but she scrunched up her face and she quietly spit it out after tasting the disgustingness of the plain coffee. She hated coffee unless it was super sugary and syrupy. Odessa crossed her arms over her torso as she looked around and her lips curled up into a smile at seeing someone familiar. As much as he wanted to be, Carmy Berzatto wasn't sneaky and anybody could recognize him from his mop of curly hair and scary blue eyes.
