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🥘 ten. f*ck you world .⊹ °ʚ☆ɞ°.⭒₊
Love is a tricky feeling that some people couldn't understand and love is weird because love is subjective. A person can love their mother, another person can love their pets, yada yada. Love is subjective to different people, but Odessa Sinclair found love tricky because there was a thin line between love and having a crush on someone.
So far, Odessa didn't know how to feel because love was something that she never experienced.
Not from her mother and she had never seen her parents be in love before. Her parents never hugged, they never held hands, but her father always picked up her mother's alcohol bottles whenever she was passed out and Odessa was sad. She truly believed that her father was hopelessly in love with her mother and he couldn't do anything because her mother was so addicted to drugs and alcohol that she was far gone. They drifted and drifted and drifted apart until her mother ended up dead and her father was bedridden after a stroke.
They smiled in family pictures, but they didn't smile in their wedding photos. Not on the first day of their marriage.
Because of her parents failed marriage, Odessa knew they were another factor on why she was fucked from the start and she was so scared of fucking this up between her and Carmy that she was beginning to regret this whole — relationship? situation? — between them. What if she really did mess up and he hated her guts forever?
What then?
It caused Odessa to worry so much that it caused her head to hurt so bad and she realized that she was overreacting as usual. Ten deep breaths and the thoughts completely swirled away like white clouds in a perfect blue sky.
Music often helped with her panic attacks which was why her shelves were always full of different vinyls and her record player was always never dusty even though she had a speaker on her phone and the record player belonged to her father. It was decorated lightly with stickers — different colored flowers — and it was easy to use. On display, the album cover of Let It Be was lifted while the vinyl spun around the needle and it shone off of the moonlight through boring burgundy curtains.
Light footsteps echoed around the small apartment as soft music played from the bedroom and the dim lights flickered even through it was late at night. Food often cooked in Odessa's apartment because Carmy loved to cook, something they both had in common and it was crazy at how good his food tasted. She just felt bad whenever he cooked in his or her kitchen after their days during work.
"Why do you always listen to this song?" asked Carmy, strands of his golden brown hair fell in front of his face and his tattooed fingers curled back as he sliced some tomatoes on the cutting board.
