A Court of Shadows and Darkness

Epilogue

- Months later-

The golden light of the sun filtered through the glass walls of the conservatory, while she relished the icy sensation of her tea.

Rhysand was chasing Nyx outside as he tried to take off on his wings. Covered in paint, Feyre remained focused on her canvas next to Raya, capturing the fleeting moment. Breaking the silence, she asked, "How many versions of this exist?"

"Countless, perhaps hundreds, if not thousands" came the reply.

"Do you always end up in the same place?" Feyre inquired further.

"In Velaris, yes. In each version, somehow I find myself here. Some versions are more pleasant than others, while some are quite gruesome"

Feyre's eyes showed her curiosity as she shifted her gaze. Raya cleared her throat and continued.

"In some versions, I meet Morrigan and fall deeply in love. We come here to be together, experiencing years of happiness. However, her heart eventually breaks, and Azriel and I never find each other because our love for her is too strong."

Raya paused, allowing Feyre's eyes to widen before she cleared her throat once more to speak. "In various versions, I find myself trapped in different ways. None of them are pleasant. In one specific version, I arrived before Nyx was even born, while you were still carrying him. Let's just say Rhysand was far from pleased, and it didn't end well," Raya chuckled, shrugging her shoulders.

Feyre glanced at her, setting down her brush. "Have you ever shared this with Mor?" Raya's eyes hardened momentarily, but she took a deep breath and when she exhaled, the hardness was gone.

"What good would that do? All of that is irrelevant in this life. Regret would only eat away your soul, and I don't believe in it."

Feyre stood, wiping her brushes, lifting her gaze " You don't believe in regret?"

" I have made choices and I get to live a life that brings me joy, that makes me happy. Just because we experience heartache and pain doesn't mean that life has robbed us; on the contrary, it's the beauty of it. We feel, we love, that's the essence, that's all that truly matters in the end."

It's been months since they defeated Koschei and each morning she woke up smiling. Love, one thing that she had no hope for. A mate that she didn't think she was destined for, yet her heart chose him either way. She would choose him in any lifetime. How could she explain that any other possibility felt like a fraud? How could she explain that each of her decisions in life lead her exactly to this moment? She had to break herself to be here and she would do it again if it meant that Azriel was waiting for her at the end. Raya did wonder sometimes how dangerous it was to love someone so deeply, how utterly fragile her happiness was, but there was nothing that she would change. Each heartache, each pain that she had to endure, she would do it all over again.

Raya didn't even notice Feyre moving next to her, but by the time she finished talking she placed her smudged hand on her shaking hands.

"So, have you seen all those versions of your life?"

"Not entirely. I've glimpsed the beginnings and the ends, but the middle is still a blur of possibilities, much like the one I shared with you. The future remains shrouded in uncertainty. One choice has the power to alter everything, Feyre, there is still free will."

The door burst open and Nyx was screaming running to Feyre in delight " Save me Mama!" Rhysand came in shortly, water dripping from his hair.

Raya couldn't help but smile at the sight of them. Nyx displaying water magic was new, he already showed signs of multiple talents, and they were multiplying as he was growing.