Once ive gathered myself and gotten up on my feet shaking, i walk out of the kitchen with a doughnut in my hand. I take a big bite of it as if the cake will heal my hornyness and make me more professional.
The doughnut is surprisingly good and i eat it really quickly. Then Sydney suddenly pops up in front of me out of nowhere and i almost choke on the cake.
"Careful... wouldnt want you to choke to death." Sydney says with a strangely manic smile. I dont think she meant those words literally. I think she meant the opposite. I could hear it. I act like nothing happened. I swallow my doughnut and wipe my mouth.
"Im immortal. And you are an amazing dancer." I say, trying to warm up to her. Her eyes light up for a split second and then she looks at me skeptically.
"I know. Billie wants us outside waiting in 30 minutes." Sydney says and turns so fast that her hair almost whips me in the face. I flinch and move out of the way and accidently steps on someones foot behind me. I turn in shock when i hear a man say "ow!" and i look at who i hurt.
"Im so so sorry." I say panicking and the man looks up from the floor holding his foot in his hand and jumping around on one leg to hold his balance.
"Its fine..." she squeaks and i put my hand on his shoulder to make him look at me. I turn him and his face actually looks less scrunched up in pain than before. He lets go of his foot and takes a deep breath.
"Im fine." He says and now looks at me. A weird mix of jealousy and adoration appears on his face which confuses me. I cant tell what he thinks of me.
"Youre Claire... woah. Im Billie's friend Alex." The man says. He has dark curly hair and deep brown eyes. Hes taller than me by a lot in my opinion, which makes him intimidating. But something about him feels familiar.
"How long have you known Billie?" I ask Alex, trying to make conversation while i figure out where ive seen him.
Just as hes about to answer, i realize who he is and my face lights up.
"Alex Wolff! I knew it... oh sorry." I say when i realize i scared him a little. But then he smiles and we both forget about my question.
Someone pulls him away for something and i let it go so i can find Billie. She said to meet her in the studio in five minutes right? Well... then in late. But Sydney said outside in 30 minutes. I dont trust her though i have to make sure.
I take a deep breath and tell myself to be professional. You can fight the attraction to Billie. Save it for later. I try to tell myself that she isnt that hot and that talented but i know thats a lie. A big lie. But it helps me see her as a normal person. Someone i dont wanna fuck every second of every day.
These thoughts i have about her make me feel dirty and i wouldng tell anyone about them not even Billie. It feels like if she knew what happens between her and me inside my head, she would never talk to me again.
I find her outside by the car with Sydney. They are standing pretty far behind the car and i can barely see them from the doorway. They dont see me. They are turned towards each other and talking.
Sydney takes a discreet step closer to Billie and i dont even think she notices it. Then Sydney grabs Billies hand and lifts it. She starts touching her rings and turning them.
In my stomach, i feel as if i had a newly made bubble of jealousy wait to be popped, and Sydney just popped it. I bite my teeth together and tighten my jaw. My hands clench into fists as i walk towards them.
When Billie sees me, her face lights up, but i dont have the energy to smile right now. I feel like she just "cheated" on me even though we arent a couple and even though Billie might not even know how much it hurt.
"Hi! Sorry i thought we were supposed to be in the studio but apparently we're already going to the set." Billie says with excitement. I nod and stand beside them without saying a word.
"You okay?" Sydney asks, and i can see on her face that she knows how much it bothered me that she touched her hand.
"Im fine." I say with a fake smile that must have looked manic to Billie but Sydney and i just smile and stare at each other like we understand each other on an evil level. She knows how to get under my skin and i think i might know how to get under hers.
She loves attention. She loves the camera's and especially Billie's attention. I can use that.
——
We all three drive in the same car with Billie between Sydney and i. This is the best chance ive got. I turn to Billie.
"Tell me about your vision of the shoot." I say with a smile. Her face lights up and she starts talking about her plans with excitement.
"Well, the song is really mixed and switches up so i wanted a black and white theme you know... like good and evil... dark and light..." she keeps explaining while i just stare at her lips. I cant help it. Sydney us trying go get into the conversation but Billie is so concentrated on explaining this to me, that she doesnt notice Sydney.
Billie's voice starts to fade and i look at her eyes to see whats happening. Her eyes have gotten less childishly excited but more... erotic? Her smile is only slight now and she looks at my face while speaking like she's studying ny features. It worked.
"Its... it shouldnt be hard for you. But maybe... i might have a hard time looking the part." She says almost in a whisper.
"What do you mean by that?" I ask her while not taking my eyes off of her.
"Im supposed to look mean... im supposed to get mad at you... im not sure i can when youre dancing like an angel." She says and her smile grows a little bigger.
"You'll be fine. Ive seen all your other videos... you could be an actress. I know you will be amazing." I say and match her smile. Sydney grunts and looks out the window
"Oh! We have arrived!" Sydney suddenly exclaims and Billie looks at her.
I look out the window and see the most beautiful flowers in a giant field. The sun is shining and makes the pond shine. The pond isnt very big but there are a few ducks in it sorrounded by beautiful wild flowers.
"Wow..." i say when i see it all. Billie looks at me with excitement.
"I knew you would like it." Billie says before we get out of the car and all the cameras get settled.
+++
YOU ARE READING
hard and soft- b.e
أدب الهواةBillie Eilish decides to find two dancers for a music video for an unreleased song. But one of them mean more to her than she thought she would... But the other dancer also wants Billie. Both dancers cant have her.
