hard and soft- b.e

Nine

The dress fits me perfectly. Its the first time im wearing it and with no underwear or bra, i feel on top of the world. The confidence i suddenly have knowing that Billie Eilish thinks im hot, is insane. Ive never felt like this before.

I know Billie is going to love this dress. Even the color is perfect for me. I dont look too pale or too orange. Its perfect.

Before i know it, Billie knocks on the door to my room and the time has passed. I have no more time to prepare myself for what might happen. I have lipstick in my bag, a pair of panties for the way home or fif i get uncomfortable. Weirdly enough, i packed a condom because i panicked. Neither of us have a dick, but who knows?

"Holy fucking shit..." Billie shout-whispers when she sees me through the doorway.

"No panties?" Billie asks me, looking up at my face again after her eyes had been stuck on my body for some time.

"Exactly. And no bra." I say, trying hard not to smile too much. Only a little.
She bites her lip, looking like she's fighting a battle with herself in her head. I would do anything to find out whats happening in her mind right now. Its too weird to ask tho.

"Soooo... whats your plan?" I ask Billie, trying to make her say something or look at my face again because shes looking anywhere but my face. She shakes her head a little and forces herself to look into my eyes.

"Umm... sorry... come on." She says and reaches for my hand. I hesitate to take it. Im not sure why, but this feels very real all if a sudden. Holding hands with Billie? For some reason that feels more personal than if we were to have sex. But i take her hand and lock the door behind me and she drags me out to the car.

Its a different car than usual now and it doesnt have a driver. Only Billie and me, and she's driving. I cant take my eyes off of her as shes driving. Especially her hands. The way she holds the wheel is so elegant and i keep imagining those same hands on my body. I want nothing more than that.

"What you looking at?" Billie asks and takes a quick look at me, not too long because she needs to keep her eyes on the road.

"Uhh... you." I almost whisper. I wasn't prepared to answer that question. If i had known her longer i would have straight up said "im staring at your hands imagining what you could do with them" but i cant say that.

"And what are you thinking then?" She asks with a smirk but not looking at me. I think she knows what im thinking, she just wants me to say it. But how do i say it without sounding weird?

"Im thinking... that this is fucking insane. You - the most beautiful woman on the planet - invite me on a date and the moment you see my dress, you cant stop staring. I couldnt have wished for anything more. Attention is all ive ever wanted and youve given me that from the moment you met me. I just dont understand." I say as fast as i can to get it over with. She looks at me briefly.

"Fame doesnt matter... you know that right? Even though your probably thinking oh my god why is Billie fucking Eilish asking me on a date, i dont see myself as Billie fucking Eilish. Im just Billie. Its rare that someone else sees me as that too. But... even though you... are a fan of me... youve made me feel normal." Billie says looking out the window.

"Im a fan of you too Claire. In my head im thinking holy shit why did the Claire say yes to go on a date with me, but you dont think of yourself as nearly as famous as me, right?" Billie says, lookibg at me again.

I think im starting to understand her. All she wants is a break from all the fame. All she wants is a place to feel normal and happy. And apparently i have become that place for her. Its hard to understand, but this isnt a dream. And even though i and so many other people have looked up to her for a long time, shes just as much of a normal human being as we are.

"You see me like that?" I ask. That's actually harder to understand than anything else thats happening right now. Of course she just wants to be seen as a normal person, i would too if i was her. But she sees me the way i see her? That is the hardest to understand.

"Yes... ive been looking at your videos and pictures all the time when im not with you. Im literally your biggest fan." Billie says and giggles a little. She sounds almost just like i did when i met her.

"Well... then we're equal. But Billie... i have to ask you... what is this we're doing? Cus i talked to my friends and they were so convinced that youre in love with me already and we're gonna... have sex. But... i didnt even think that way at first. I was thinking about a normal going out and eating and kissing goodbye thing and dreaming of each other until the next date..." I begin and i take a breath before continuing.

"I just would like to know what your visions of this date is. I dont want to think ahead of myself if theres no point in it." I finish. I look at her face while she's thinking and processing.

"Im not exactly sure. All i know is that... i really like you, and i couldnt resist not asking you out, i just had to do it. But... im up for almost anything as long as youre comfortable with it." She says and smiles at me. Shes looking at me for longer than i want her to while driving, so i grab her face and turn her head towards the road again which makes her laugh.

"I dont want to die before ive gone on a date with Billie Eilish. So concentrate dammit." I say and giggle a little.

——

The restaurant Billie stops in front of looks more like a small castle. It all looks like how a Lana del ray song feels. She parks right in feont of some marble stairs leading to an open door with guards by the front.

The outside of the house is cream colored and decorated with white, beige and gold details and its tall as fuck. It looks like its a hotel with a giant restaurant underneath because there are people in bathrobes by the windows at the top of the building.

"Pretty isnt it?" Billie asks with excitement. Again, im completely at a loss for words. Its just like when i saw my hotel room for the first time. Its all so 1800's rich family looking that i feel like im in another world.

"Uh..." is all i can say. I cant make out a worf untim we get inside and there are barely any empty tables. But at the far back of the restaurant, theres a small table with red candles on it and two men dressed in black by the sides. Its right up to a long window.

"Over there." Billie says, pointing to the same table i was looking at.

"Thats ours?" I ask her, looking at her in surprise. Her eyes automatically fly to my lips before she forces herself to meet my gaze.

"Its ours." She says and grips my hand tightly, tangling her fingers between mine. She drags me along the floor to the table where the two men immediately pull out the chairs for us.

"We'll be standing close by. You wont even notice us." One of the men say before they walk to a more secretive place. And after that, i dont notice them at all.

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