A Masked Getaway

Chat Noir

Chat Noir waited for Ladybug to close the bifold door and exit upstairs before rushing to the villa next door and letting himself in—the door slamming shut behind him.

"Plagg, claws in!" He began to march the length of the lounge, hands running through his now dry hair as he considered what the hell he was going to do.

When he'd chosen this hotel, the reasons were simple. No one would be here that he knew (it was wayyyy too expensive), and it was a couples resort, so as long as he wore his baseball cap and sunglasses, no one would know he was here. Simple. Except he was Adrien Agreste and nothing he ever did was simple.

He arrived here as himself on vacation. Not Chat Noir—or, even more ridiculous, Plagg Noir (where the hell did that come from?) so if it wasn't for Plagg's little appearance, he could be having a nice time as Ladybug's next door neighbour. They could have had cocktails together, maybe gone for a meal or two to keep each other, but instead he would now be staying in her villa...in her bed...And he needed to get a key!

Out of all the hotels in the world, he just couldn't wrap his head around why Ladybug chose here!

Why, oh why, did the powers above hate him so much?

"So, that was fun!"

Adrien stopped and stared down at Plagg. "Fun? You call this fun? You dropped me in it, Plagg! What the hell am I going to do?"

"I'm going to tell you what you're not going to do." Plagg flew in front of him, a piece of cheese in his paws. "You're not going to put this near an onion again. It tastes like feet."

Adrien pinched his nose, stopping the smell from knocking him out. "That's how it usually tastes."

Plagg gasped, covering the sides of the cheese with either paw. "Don't listen to him, my gorgeousness! You're divine the way you are."

Adrien rolled his eyes. "Come on, Plagg! Help me out here! Ladybug's expecting me in half an hour— with my cases—ready to sleep in her bed!"

"I thought this would be a dream come true for you."

"A year ago, yes! But you know I love Marinette now!"

"For your sake, let's hope there's no Chinese-French girls with pigtails on the beach."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Listen, Kid. There's not a lot you can do! Unless you're hiding the mouse Miraculous in your bag or you've been hiding a twin—"

"That's it!" Adrien interrupted. He grabbed Plagg and hugged him to his cheek. "You can be brilliant sometimes. Do you know that?"

Plagg pushed himself away. "'Sometimes' is a little offensive, don't you think?"

"When it comes to you? No!" Adrien headed for his room — old room — looking for the main thing he needed. His phone.

"I may not have a twin... but I do have a..."

"Don't say it!"

"Cousin!"

Plagg groaned, shaking his head and moving away from where Adrien was frantically searching for his device.

"Whatever you decide," the kwami began to say, "just know this was your choice! So when the shit hits the fan, you only have yourself to blame!"

In a matter of seconds, Plagg had made himself sparse, leaving Adrien alone and waiting for Félix to answer the phone. Yes, he didn't have a twin but he had an almost identical cousin. The only difference was that Adrien was so much nicer.

With a click, the sound of a strong British accent assaulted his ears.

"And to what pleasure do I owe this?"

Sometimes Adrien couldn't help but wish his cousin would answer the phone like a normal person. A quick 'hi' or 'hey', or even a 'how do you do?' Instead, Félix had enough confusing phone greetings to write a book.

"Can't I just call my best cousin to see how he's doing?"

Silence echoed on the other side of the phone, Adrien counting the seconds until he should speak again, when Félix came back.

"What do you want, Adrien?"

Stalking across the room, Adrien looked out the window at the pool—the pool where he'd just had a vision of something he couldn't deny he wanted to see again.

Yes, his heart might be swaying towards Marinette now, after all, his Lady didn't want him. But he was human, and he was male, and seeing her like that...well...

He was a pervert!

"I - um - I kind of need your assistance?" Adrien stretched up and rubbed at the back of his neck, the nervous prickle taking place at the base of his skull doing nothing for his nerves.

"Have you been arrested?"

Maybe Plagg was right and this wasn't the best of ideas.

"Not yet, but the day's still young." Adrien let out a shameful laugh as Félix sighed on the other side of the call.

"What is it?"

"Come on, Fé, I'm your dearest cousin. We were like brothers growing up! Don't you want to help me out?"

"The name is Félix, not Fé, and you're my only cousin. So, I ask you again, what do you want?"

Adrien took a deep breath. He had to sell this just right, after all, if he wanted Félix to come and take his place he needed to make sure this whole place seemed desirable.

"Fancy coming on vacation?"

There was a pause before Félix used his most favourite complete sentence. "No!"

"Oh, come on Fé, it's an all expenses paid trip to Italy?"

"Italy?" Félix didn't sound too impressed and he couldn't blame him. He was doing a crap job as a salesman.

He tried again. "The exclusive San Valentino Island. 5* luxury retreat on a private island, all paid for. All you need to do would be to turn up and enjoy the tab I have at the bar and all the food you can eat."

Silence encroached from the other side of the phone and Adrien was almost positive he could hear Félix's brain weighing up the pros and the cons. His cousin was never one for abandoning free beer though.

Finally, Félix spoke. "What's the catch?"

He was taking the bait. "Nothing, you can just relax in the private villa, drink your weight in cocktails and present one evening's entertainment as me. No biggie!"

A splutter sounded on the other end of the phone. "Excuse me? Are you asking me to be you?"

"No..."

Yes!

"Adrien Émile Gabriel Donatien Athanase Agreste!"

Oh, God! He'd been fully named.

"Just think of all that free pasta waiting for you!"

"I'm gluten free!" he deadpanned.

"Then I don't know...maybe a nice juicy salad! Come on Félix, you know I'm only asking because I need you!"

Backtrack! Backtrack! Backtrack! One thing about Félix was you didn't let him know you needed him. That would just give him a means to manipulate you and get what he wanted. Félix may have been an asshole, but he was a smart asshole.

"When do you want me?"

And now Adrien was positive he would be paying for it for the rest of his life!

"How soon can you get here?"

He heard something shuffling in the background, almost like paper turning in a diary. It would definitely be like his cousin to have a diary, probably with little quotes each day telling him he was a god!

"How about tomorrow?"

Adrien smiled. "Perfect."