My Sticky Notes Are All About You

Fly to Each Other_ ( 2 )

A faint sound came from a distant place as if it was raining. But the weather in early spring was perfect, and the sunset glow reflected on Arran's face.

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I don’t think I’m happy at all this year. Maybe it’s because I’m too tired. I haven’t seen her for many days. My mother is suffering from uremia and my father had a sudden heart attack from political issues and died when I was in high school.

These days, I can't figure out what's going on with myself. When I wake up, I go to make the house tidy; I'll do laundry while eating breakfast, wash dishes, and clean up if there's a mess.
I don't know if I just miss my father who is currently above or something else. When he was gone, I wasn't able to cry so I'm thinking maybe I'm just now visited by emotions that I didn't give a chance to go out or maybe I'm just completely disappointed in myself because I dropped out at that time to make money. I didn't give my best, I could have done both. Maybe the reason for feeling heavy is that I suddenly cut the connection with the people who once caused the sparkles in my eyes.

Maybe I'm just changing, I was used to a situation where they were not part of my life. But from the day I saw her in the hospital, I started counting days 12 months, 23 days, 9 hours, and 54 minutes and I saw her again.

With the mentality that more things are worse than less things, I tried to pretend not to see this time. But I couldn't help it, it was too sudden.
That day, I was in a rush to admit my mother because she had a sudden attack while arguing with my uncle. My uncle is 3 years older than me and my mother raised both of us as her own child. After my father died, there was a fall in our family's financial state. At that time, my father's brother-in-law had a chance to blame my father regarding their business partnership. Thus all our savings were gone. Our house was gone too. Now we live in a messy area. Narrow roads, 5 to 6 bends from standard colonies. We were bullied at first when we first started living here. My mother was too soft to speak back to the rural people living here. My uncle has a tough voice and a strict personality. He was a young adult back then and saved us from various things. Now his ways completely backfired and he turned into a gang leader. I won't say he is a criminal but he does take a ridiculous amount of money from local shop owners each week.  I didn't want my mother to get treated with this money. So I do part-time jobs ... I can't afford to continue my studies for these things.
I wish to not see her again. I don't know what this feeling is. But I feel really annoyed and happy at the same time whenever I see her. Alif is my uncle's friend and he is working as a delivery man in Food Panda. Days ago, a girl named Taki was being harassed by local fellas, ridiculously they were my uncle's friend. Alif didn't like that so he stood up. Later on, he begged me to take him to meet that girl often. I searched for her address for several weeks and found out. Then it was the first day when I took Alif to meet Taki and encountered her. My luck really plays jokes on me.

(End of this chapter)