Aapki Ardhangini

3. The pain inside him

Ranvijay's POV

She has left from here and I am still sitting here. I want to feel the peace of this darkness but today the anger inside me is not allowing me to be calm.

I came here only for kingdom's work but Ragini's father did something else here.
But I am more worried about Ragini than Veer Pratap.

I don't know why I am so worried about Ragini today, I have never worried so much even about myself.

But the girl who yesterday was cutting the wind with the edge of her sword, what happened today that she has decided to end her life
I whisper

"Kyu itni bechani horhi hai hume"

"Why am I feeling so restless"

I think that now as soon as tomorrow morning comes. I should go back to my kingdom. It would not be right for me to stay here.Otherwise, problems will increase for Ragini. To be honest I'm scared of my anger.This bad relationship between Pratap and me can destroy the peace of Trishulgarh and Bhawanigarh.

I stood up from there and gone to guest chamber of their palace which is given to me.

I lay down for some time but the drowning scene of her make shook every part of me. I am ruthless and never think about anyone. But her the ocean of her eyes make me feel that she gone through alot. Even i have too but there is no one for me and i can feel that pain.

"I think I should meet Ragini once before I leave"

And before thinking twice i get up and start walking to her room.
I see the door of her room I took a deep breath but there is no attendee outside maybe she have slept but i have no time i have to say sorry to her for being so straight forward and saying no for marriage before leaving.

"Ragini"

I knock the door

"Ragini hum baat karna chahte hai aapse"

She does not said even a single word.

I have start walking back to my chamber.

Just after some footsteps i realised...

"Raginiiiiiii"

I shouted and
run back to her door and i was trying to open it. I push the door hard and it opens. The sight of her in the room took my breath away.
She has cut the vein of her wrist. The blood is dripping and she have fainted. I tried to wake her up by sprinkling some water but nothing works.
I picked up Ragini in my arms and carried her towards the royal clinic.On the way we meet a maid. I told her to go and tell Raja Saheb that his daughter's condition is very critical.
I placed her at the wooden stretcher.

"Shahi Hakima Inhe bacha lijiye"

"Royal doctor please save her"

She is very promising doctor. She has been specially called from another kingdom. She starred the treatment after some time we have shifted her at her room. Everyone is present there but i don't have a look on them i was just looking at Ragini and her wounded wrist.Hakima apply some paste amd tied a bandage on Ragini's hand. And give some liquid medicines. But she was still unconscious. I don't want to move from there. I was praying for her.

For some time i move from there and sat on the couch of my chamber.
I whisper

"Mahadev kuch na hone dena unhe"

"Mahadev please don't let anything happen to her"

For sometime i waited and gone to her chamber. Her attendee Kusum was present there. I asked her what is going on.
She said

"Do dino tak hosh aana sambhav nahi hai"

"It is not possible to regain consciousness for two days"

"Par khatre se bahr hain vo"

"But she is out of danger"

I felt a little relieved

"Raja saheb vese to hum kisi ki ijjat lena zaruri nahi samjhte lekin beti hain vo aapki beshak layak nahi hai aap iske par Pita to hain ap unke to hum aapko bata rahe hai ki in do dino mai hum yahin Ragini k sath rahenge"

"King however i do not consider it necessary to take anyone's permission. But undoubtedly she is daughter of you. You don't deserve it, but you are her father. So i am informing you that in these two days i will be with Ragini"

His shocked face is telling how much he is irritated with this statment of mine. But he did not say any single word. Maybe this is because i am more powerful from him not in physic but in genral. And anyway, he feels that Ragini and I are having an affair.

"Rana sa hume koi aapatti nhi h"

"Majesty we don't mind"

Her mother spoke

After that Hakima told all of us to leave but i want to stay there so i stays there.

I was sitting of the couch which is little bit far from the bed of her but still i can see every activity of her. So i am looking at her.

After some time wind comes from the window and her hair messed up for clearing that i went close her. Her pale skin is troubling me.

"Ragini bahut naraj hai hum aapse"

"Ragini i am very angry with you"

"Ye bhi jante hai koi haq nahi hume lekin aap aisi ladki nahi hai ki zindagi se haar kar mar jayengi..aesi nahi hai aap. Vo tabh dekha hai humne aapki ankho mai"

"I also know that I have no rights but you are not that type of girl who gives up on life. I see that atitude ki your eyes "

Suddenly some pages flew and sat on floor and some on my feet because of wind. I pick them and start reading it..it is mix up of some urdu and hindi.....oh this is a dairy but whose i start reading a page roughly.....ohh

"Oh to ye aapki hai"

"Oh so it is yours"

I really want to know what is she go through so i decided to read it. First i engaged the pages and then start reading it.

Ekele hi reh jayenge hum is apno ki bheed mai
Maze ki baat to ye hai ki is bheed mai koi humara apna nahi....

This is so poetic.. but on the same time is seems like she was really alone. I am about to read it further but suddenly Kusum enters...
I hide it behind my back....

"Rana sa khane ka samay ho chala hai aapka khana yahin laga den"

"Majesty it's is time for dinner shall i bring your food here"

I nodded and she left and bring my i eat and ask kusum to stay here. Does not matter i have told her family that i will stay with her but staying alone with her is not fine. This is not in our culture.
So we both sat on our couches and hide the dairy with pillow coz she is her attendee probably she know the fact that Ragini write dairy.
Then i start reading again:

Nigahe taras gayi hai us haqeeqat ko jo sapno me kbhi dekha karte the hum.
Hum pehle jaise nahi rahe hai ab...bahut badal gaye hain. Hume neend bhi kaam aati hai aur karrar bhi kuch kam hi padta hai.
Chahte hai koi samjhe hume . Is dil ki aarzoo hai koi bethe ghanto khamosh humare sath or sune is dil ke shor ko. Sunaye apni baate hume aur tod de is khamoshi ko.
.
.
Magar ye mumkin nahi.
Mumkin nahi

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