chenford - i forget you aren't mine

Chapter nine

The drive to Tim's house was silent, the occasional hum of the radio and cars driving past creating noise. It was already dark by the time they left Jake and Sava's house, Lucy leaning her head on the window - falling asleep.

Tim nudged her awake once they pulled up in his driveway, opening the passenger door for her. Even though she was still meant to be mad at him, she secretly enjoyed his small gestures.

He carried their suitcases inside as Lucy cooed at Kojo, almost falling down when he pounced on her as she opened the door.

Lucy was supposed to be dropped off at her apartment but she was too exhausted to protest Tim's offer to stay the night at his place for convenience. The only thing she needed right now was a warm bath and a foot massage. Pregnancy was draining.

Once they were settled in, Lucy sat opposite of Tim on the couch - sinking into the pillows.

Tim started the conversation, "I'm sorry I left you last night. I know it wasn't exactly the smartest choice."

"But one good thing came out of me coming back at the crack of dawn and spotting Hajek, which is being able to go home." He said, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, what a great way to be treated after you've just confirmed that your ex training officer knocked you up." Lucy ignored his comment about Hajek, her tone laced with sarcasm.

"What did you want me to do Lucy, Throw a party in celebration of finding out you've been keeping such a big secret from me?"

"I missed the first ultrasound and the first kick - Those are moments we can never get back."

Lucy found herself understanding Tim's perspective, feeling a wave of regret wash over her. "I know, you're not the only one to blame here. I didn't know how I could even tell you even if I had wanted to."

"Every Time I saw you with Ashley, I was reminded of the reasons why I didn't want to burden you with this news."

"Lucy, You know you're never a burden. If it was between you and Ashley, I would always choose you."

"I'm scared, Tim. What if I mess this all up?"

"I'm scared as well. This is all so new to me and I just don't know how I can help." Tim said.

"I don't want to be like him. What if I become the person I swore I'd never be?" He whispered, Lucy moving closer to him and taking his hand.

"You're nothing like him. I know you'll be an amazing father, I've seen the way you are with Jack." Tim searches Lucy's face for any trace of doubt or uncertainty, but all he sees is reassurance and trust.

"How do we do this? The whole parenting thing." He asks.

Lucy lets out a soft laugh, a sound she hasn't heard in a while. "I don't know either, We'll learn together I guess."

"But what happens to us?" She asks.

Tim hesitates before speaking again, "Lucy, I-" The three words he had been dying to say were on the tip of his tongue, the fear of rejection clouding him.

"No, Tim. If we do this and it doesn't work, I'll have ruined the most important relationship in my life."

Lucy moves backwards, regret overwhelming her as her eyes widened at the words that slipped out of her mouth. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that-"

She let out a shaky breath, "So we should just let things go the way they've been going, right?" Lucy tilted her head, thinking of all the things that could go wrong if they pursued a relationship. "It's not worth the risk."

"But what if it was?" Tim grasps Lucy's hand tighter, his eyes never looking away from hers. "What if we're worth the risk?"

A big smile spread across Lucy's face, "You'd really want to be with me when im like this?"

"You've never looked more beautiful."

"Even when I ask you to rub my feet because they're aching?"

"Even when I have to rub your aching feet." Tim pulled Lucy to his chest, hearing her content sigh as she snuggled into him. "Lucy, You're growing our baby. I would steal the moon for you if you asked."

Lucy let out a small noise, feeling herself become incoherent as the sound of Tim's heartbeat lulled her to sleep.

And for once, Lucy could sleep without the heavy feeling of guilt following her around. Telling Tim wasn't a decision that she intended to make any time soon, but she's glad it happened.

Maybe she should thank Angela when she wakes up. Or better yet, never let Tim leave her side again and bask in the comfort of everything.