Chapter 29

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A/n: Was scrolling through a hashtag to look for a book to read and found my own😲. It was kinda funny

Also, already having thoughts of rewriting the first 10ish chapters of this...so if you see a bunch of updates that's why !!

so if you see a bunch of updates that's why !!

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I'm high out of my goddamn mind.

I didn't plan it, but after storming out on Cecilia for no valid reason, Ryder Lynch seemed to sniff me out from a mile away and approached me with his holy stash of weed. And who was I to deny a good friend and supplier?

I needed something to soothe the ache of the memory that resurfaced last night.

When I woke up this morning, I'd wrongly directed my anger at Cece, partly because it felt wrong for her to have seen me in such a vulnerable state last night. I never wanted anyone to see me like that, and definitely not her.

The nightmare, I hadn't immediately remembered it when I woke up, but little bits and pieces slowly started to formulate the more and more I started walking my zombie-like self around the campus.

Until Ryder offered me a solution that I didn't bother to check before smoking.

And now I lay sprawled out across my bedding, mind reeling with guilt. Why couldn't I have uttered the two words to her before she left? I'm sorry. Sorry for reacting out on you.

I want her to come back. To be here in this room. I don't know where she went, or with who, because even if she did tell me I was too out of my mind to have comprehended a word.

All I understand is that I miss Cecilia and her big sad-all the time doe eyes.

I run a hand down my face, contemplating what the hell is wrong with me.

I hate her. I hate that she's taking up so much room in my mind.

I hardly pay notice to the howling winds outside my window, nor the darkening of the night sky. My eyes flutter as they struggle to stay open, a content half-smile makings its way to my face. God I love weed.

I welcome the calm silence, grateful given the rarity of it. It doesn't last as long as I wish, because soon after I finally allow my eyes to shut, a ring pierces the hair.

"Jesus, fuck," I mutter in annoyance, reaching on my bed stand to grab it. I squint my eyes past the blur blocking my sight, barely able see the faintness reading 'Cecilia.'

Instantaneously, I'm swiping my finger on the accept button.

"Cecilia?" I say into the line, sitting up in my bed, ignoring the dizziness that quickly hits me.

"Matteo?" Her voice sounds out of breath, panicked maybe.

"What? What's wrong?" Something burns beneath my skin.

"Are- are you doing anything right now?" Her breath hitched on the first word.

"No, why? What's going on?" I narrow my eyes into the phone.

"Well- it's just- well I took the bus down here, right?" She starts rambling. "Auriela took the train here and she's already left I thought it said the next bus route was at 7 tonight but it's actually not coming until 7am next morning and I just- it's getting dark and there's some weird people around and- and I don't really have any other way of getting back so-"

"Stop." I cut her off. "Where are you?"

She lets out a breath of air. "Uhm, it's that village downtown, you know what I'm talking about? The one they light up for winter."

"Yeah, I know. I'll be there in thirty minutes," I tell her, already shuffling through my drawers for my keys, which I haven't found use for in quite a while. "Hey, don't talk to people, alright? See if you can wait somewhere away from everyone."

"Thank you," she says truthfully.

"Don't worry about it." I hang up, already halfway to the parking lot.

                                  .•° ✿ °•.

When I pull into the lot, finding her is quite easy. With her arms wrapped tightly around her, and her head bowed down, she looks wary and nervous.

She startles, head shooting up when I honk my car. She doesn't waste a second, shooting off of the rusty gray bench and wrapping her jacket tighter around herself. I reach across the console, stretching my arm to push open the door for her, and she quickly climbs in.

"Thank you so much," she says quietly, her seatbelt making a faint clicking sound as she buckles in.

"It's no problem. You cold?" I look over at her, her doe eyes piercing my probably red ones.

A slight, trembling nod of her head plus the rise of goosebumps on her arm has me reaching for the heaters switch.

"Thank you," she says again. "And I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be."

"I feel bad you had to drive thirty minutes to come get me." She frowns, toying with the hem of her jackets sleeve.

"Again, don't worry about it. You ever need me to pick you up, call." I turn my head to stare at her, watching a slow smile grow on her face.

She doesn't say anything more, turning to stare out the front of the car, her body slowly relaxing with the heat. Half-way through the silent drive she suddenly turns to me again.

"Are you okay, by the way?" She questions, head tilting.

I furrow my eyebrows, my watchful gaze staying on the road. "What do you mean?"

"This morning." She shrugs. "Earlier today, you looked...upset."

"Oh." I clear my throat. "No, I'm fine." I shake my head.

"You sure?" She questions. "Because when you woke up you seemed mad at me and if you were- or are- I'm really sorry."

I close my eyes for a brief moment before reopening them. "I'm not mad at you, it's fine. You didn't do anything."

"Are you sure? Because if you were I totally get it and you can tell me, I won't be upset."

Something about the expression on her face tells me she would in fact be upset if I told her the truth.

"I'm sure," I repeat gruffly.

"If you say so," she responds quietly, leaning backwards and pulling her feet onto the seat to further huddle into herself. She quickly puts them back on the floor, wiping the seat and sending me a sheepish look.

I listen to her shuffle around for a few more minutes, leaning back, then forward, then shifting to the right side of the seat.

After a bit of watching her struggle, I let out a low groan and finally lean across her lap and, without looking at her and keeping my eyes on the road, recline her seat until she's laying flat on her back.

She lets out a small noise, turning on her side to face to me, eyes slowly drifting close. For the rest of the drive back to the academy, I keep myself silent to let her peacefully sleep.

And when we get there, I gently tuck her light body on my arms, carrying her up to her bed where she can sleep comfortably for the rest of the night.

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