The Beginning Of An End

Chapter 18

Over the next few days, we took turns monitoring Mammon, but it became painfully clear he wasn't waking up. Coma was the only word that fit. We still hadn't figured out what he'd taken, and nothing we tried stirred him. The only thing keeping us from completely losing hope was Abaddon's claim that Mammon was still fighting.

Still, Loki's words lingered in my mind like a stubborn echo. What if Abaddon had lied? If he was hiding something, there was no telling how honest he'd been about any of it.

I sat beside Mammon's bed, staring at his face, waiting for it to move. Even a grimace would've been enough. But there was nothing. The stillness dragged memories of Lucifer to the surface, sharp and unwelcome. I couldn't let the same thing happen again. I wasn't ready to lose him too, even if he was the most pompous demon I'd ever known.

"Why did you have to do this?" I muttered, anger creeping into my voice. "We need you, stupid bastard."

I exhaled shakily, leaning forward and burying my face in my hands, trying to contain the storm swelling inside me. It was useless. Tears slipped through without warning, and soon I was sobbing, swallowed by a wave of grief I couldn't hold back.

The door suddenly swung open. I hastily wiped at my face, only to see Loki peeking in from the doorway. Despite my attempt to compose myself, his expression shifted instantly, confusion and concern flickering across his face as he stepped inside and quietly shut the door behind him.

"Are... you okay?" he asked carefully.

The moment I heard his voice, the tears surged again, spilling over no matter how desperately I tried to hold them back. The more I thought about everything, the worse it became. Helplessness swallowed me whole, a sensation so foreign it felt suffocating. In my eternal existence, I had never felt this powerless. All I could do was wait. And the waiting was torture.

Loki reacted instantly, crossing the room and wrapping his arms around me. He pulled my head gently against his chest, and I didn't resist. I clung to him like he was the only thing anchoring me to sanity.

"I... can't do this anymore. I can't handle loss anymore," I mumbled through broken sobs as his hand slid into my hair, stroking it slowly.

"You know it's okay if you give all of this up, right?" Loki said softly, tightening his hold. "You don't have to keep walking this path of revenge."

I pulled away at that, anger flaring hot and sudden.

"This is even more reason to continue. None of this would've happened if it weren't for the Devil," I spat. The tears stopped as quickly as they had started, replaced by pure, burning rage.

Loki held my gaze, his eyes frustratingly gentle. He crouched in front of me, taking my face in his hands.

"Are you sure it's his fault?" he asked firmly. Confusion flickered through me, dulling my anger for a brief moment. "You only know what Abaddon told you."

I stared at him, trying to unravel what he meant. Then Samael's words resurfaced in my mind. The mention of a third party involved in the split.

"Why are you so determined to blame Abaddon?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. "Even if he was involved, it doesn't change who the Devil is. He still chose to split from Lucifer."

Loki released my face with a sigh and stood.

"You don't know that."

"But what would Abaddon gain from this?!" I shouted, rising from the chair, irritation boiling over. "He is the Void itself. He doesn't need anything."

Loki shot me a glare, clearly just as annoyed.

"Maybe you're right. But look at the damage. Everyone is suffering right now except Abaddon. I don't understand why you trust him so blindly."