The Beginning Of An End

Chapter 18

Over the next few days, we all took turns in monitoring Mammon's state but it seemed like he was never going to wake up from the coma. There was no other way to describe the state he was in. We had never figured out what he'd taken to put himself in this situation and nothing we did made him wake up. The only thing keeping us going was the fact that Abaddon said that there was hope. However, I couldn't shake Loki's words out of my head. What if he lied? If there were things he hid, there was not knowing how honest he was about anything at all.

I was sitting in the chair in Mammon's room, staring at his face, wondering if it was going to move, even a grimace would've been enough. But there was nothing. It brought back memories of Lucifer once again, and I couldn't let the same thing happen again. I wasn't going to let go of him even though he was the most pompous bastard I'd known.

"Why did you have to do this?" I mumbled, almost angry at the whole situation. "We need you, stupid bastard." I let out a breath and leaned against my knees as I buried my face into my hands, trying to stop myself from the overwhelming whirlwind of emotions starting within me. But there was no stopping the tears that were forming in my eyes without any warning as I began sobbing uncontrollably, overcome by a wave of grief.

At that moment, the door swung open and I immediately began wiping the tears only to see Loki's face popping out at the entrance. Apparently despite wiping the tears, it was obvious to Loki that something was wrong. He kept looking at me with obvious confusion as he slowly entered and closed the door behind him.

"Are... you okay?" he asked carefully. As soon as I heard his voice, the tears welled up again and started flowing uncontrollably. I desperately wanted them to stop, but the more I thought about the situation, the more I cried. A profound sense of helplessness engulfed me, something I hadn't experienced in my eternal life. All I could do was wait, and the waiting was torturous.

Loki reacted immediately, rushing over to me and wrapping his arms around me. He gently pulled my head to his chest, and I found myself unable to resist. I clung to him as if he were the only anchor capable of pulling me out of this overwhelming despair.

"I... can't do this anymore. I can't handle loss anymore." I managed to mumble out through all the crying and his hand reached my hair as he started stroking it.

"You know it's okay if you just give this all up, right?" Loki said gently as he hugged me tighter. "You don't have to go on this path of revenge you're on." I pulled away as I heard him as I felt anger rising within me.

"This is even more of a reason to continue. None of this would've happened if it weren't for the Devil," I spat as tears suddenly stopped and all I felt was rage. Loki locked his eyes with mine but there was such gentleness in his gaze I couldn't describe. He crouched in front of me and grabbed my face.

"Are you sure that it's his fault?" He asked firmly and a flash of confusion struck me that I stopped feeling anger for a second. "You don't know that. You only know what Abaddon told you." I continued to look at him, trying once again to decipher what he meant. And then I remembered what Samael said - about the third party being involved in the split.

"Why are you so set on blaming Abaddon?" I was determined to find out what exactly he had in mind. "Even if he was involved, the Devil is still who he is. It doesn't change the fact that he initially wanted to split from Lucifer."