hiraeth | c.g. |

xxiii

"I don't know why I keep trying this damn thing. My guess is that you're too far to even get a message or the repeaters went out... or maybe you just don't have time to listen. But I hope you're listening now."

Clarissa Rhee was bathed in the sunlight on the small hill she stood atop of. Her eyes fell upon the landscape, looking away only to check on the small cohort with her as they fed and gave water to their horses on the main road.

They had been traveling back from the Kingdom, her eyes falling on Alec as he provided water to Montu. As if feeling her gaze, he looked up and met her eyes, his gaze soft and questioning. She only shook her head, knowing that she couldn't lay any more troubles upon his shoulders. With everything going on at the Kingdom, and as the "heir" to Ezekiel, Alec had been more than occupied with the troubles of the Kingdom as he continued to grieve for his brother.

She looked away, bringing the walkie to her lips once more. "It's been two months since everything happened and I still don't know what to do. It almost feels like how it did when we lost Glenn... and I'm trying to come back from it. But I don't have you or Hershel or —" Clary choked up, images of her sister flashing in her mind before she took a deep breath. "I'm trying. I have Daryl, and Carl, Judith and RJ. My people are with me, Alec, and Tris stands by my side, even after I've failed."

With a deep breath, Clary nodded softly. "The Council needs you. We— I need you, Mom. Please just... just show us you're out there."

Even with her pleading, all that followed her words was silence. With a scoff, Clary allowed the walkie to drop to her side, having lost any disappointment as she had been disappointed with the silence too many times.

Moving away from the top of the hill, Clary made her way back to the small cohort that traveled with her. Including Alec, there were six other members of Alexandria and Solaris who helped her in her travels to Hilltop. It was there that she met with the Council, leaving only to head to Oceanside, where she met with Rachel.

Alec had joined them from Kingdom where he had done his own patrol and meetings as the proxy of the Kingdom for Alexandria. When he had joined them in Hilltop, even Clary could see the defeat hidden under his strong facade.

As they packed up their supplies, Alec handed Montu's reins to the young Commander. "Everything okay?" Alec questioned, earning a sharp nod from the young woman. "We should get going."

With one last look to the hill, and the heavy weight of the walkie sitting silently upon her belt, she let out a sharp whistle before they continued on.

•
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•

Clary didn't know what stopped her on her way home when she returned from Alexandria. Maybe it was how lost she felt, or how she wondered if she didn't have Maggie anymore, maybe it was all of it. But the questions seemed to silence as she stood in front of her old home.

The Rhee household had seemingly stayed untouched for the past seven years since it had been lived in. There was no life to it, the one resemblance of it being the memories that only Clary held. Memories of her and Glenn talking on the porch, helping Maggie with dinner, Carl walking her home, Enid and her sharing their bed— all of it, now nothing but whispers of what once was.

It has been the first place she went to upon returning to Alexandria. She had been surprised to see the door locked, an etched sign upon the door.

In Memoriam

Carl had found her looking at the home and had explained to her that, after she left, he had made sure that no one was able to use the home. It had become a standing memorial to those lost during the war against the Saviors, and ultimately a reminder of where they had come from and who they were fighting for. Clary didn't ever think she could fall more in love with Carl Grimes, but upon finding out only he entered the house to clean it up and trimmed the grass outside, the care he displayed made her fall in love all over again.