Marshall

So much pain

It's been 7 months. 7 damn long months and I couldn't forget him. How could I? His birthday was coming and everyone seemed to move on already. But me? I couldn't and didn't want to. The mere idea of leaving him in the past made me upset and sad. I wasn't that kind of kid who cried easily, on the contrary.  But lately I've been crying a lot.  The pain was still there, even after months. And I had no idea how to deal with it.
I didn't want to go to school. I was alone and it was different this time because I knew even if I went back to my room , Dan wouldn't be there .. Without exaggeration, I really hated everything.  How could life go on? How could the birds chirp so happily?  How could the Sun rise..?  And why did this pain not go away?

"Dan I miss you.. no one knows my pain. No one would understand. I might be 8 now, but I don't  want this life to continue without you in it.."

There was not a day when I didn't think about him or..how he fell to the floor . I wish I could do better to save his life. I didn't let anyone to take his place in our room. I was rather alone than betray him. And I was late from classes, almost always. The teachers seemed to understand a little bit because they didn't bat an eye. I had to go nonetheless, but I didn't care.

"It'll never go away, no matter if Mrs Rosa says . Easy for her, she didn't lose her best friend. How am I supposed to live with this pain...?"

I wonder if he's not lonely because I am and it's torturing me. Isn't it weird? Being surrounded by people yet you're so very alone.
I said goodbye to *him* before leaving for my classes.

- It's not like I want to leave you alone again.. but I need to go to school before they scold me. Dan.. I'll hurry back to you, I promise. I will tell you everything as always. We...will meet again in no time..

But before classes, I went up to the roof to see our plants. We had some there . Mrs Spencer taught us how to grow them . Me and Dan took some seeds and hid them here to have our own little *garden*.  Now it was only mine..

Victor's POV

It's been a few months. Mrs Rosa said I should wait, it's normal for a child to grieve. But why should I not help? Marshall was only a child, he shouldn't go through this alone.

- Could you talk to him?
- I tried but..he's silent..
- Give him time my love. He's young and going through a rough period

Vincent was by my side as always. He kept blaming himself for little Daniel's death. Although, we was almost 100 % certain that it'd happen. We tried to give him hope , maybe that wasn't the best idea. But we couldn't let him give up.

- I'm worried . Marshall is only 8 years old and not only lost his best friend but witnessed him die. I can't force him to speak but it's concerning. Have you seen how bad he looks?
- I did. He lost weight and has insomnia. I know about the nightmares of the night when Daniel fainted in front of him. It's a lot for a child , even for an adult. I know you miss that little boy too.
- Of course I do. He was such a sweet, innocent soul. I wish we could..do something more. If we could at least adopt them..
- I know but sadly it's not that time yet. Maybe one day we can and it won't be late.

Vincent pressed a kiss on my forehead. He was trying to comfort me . But I felt...I failed. Failed Daniel and I was failing Marshall too now.

- Be his friend for now, not his doctor. He'll open up.
- I try. He's depressed, it's plain to see
- You know, I'm mad at myself. I was his doctor , I was so very careful always. He seemed better! No, he was actually better!  It's still a mystery for me what could happen that night.. Anyway, forgive my amor, I have to leave for a few hours. I'll be back around noon. Wanna go out to eat something? Or shall I bring you some lunch?
- Sorry, I'm not really in the mood to go out. If you'd be a dear and bring me something to eat, I'd be more than grateful.
- Alright handsome. Don't stress yourself out too much.

I'm worried sick. Poor child, I can't even imagine how he feels. But how should I help without pressuring him?

Marshall's POV

The plant was growing nicely, so I watered it some.
We weren't allowed on the roof, mostly not alone. It was too dangerous.  Of course me, Dan and Anton used to sneak up here to play around. This time it was only me..planning something different
I just came to see the flower. He then..
...something hit me..
I walked to the edge . Only a small barrier keeps people from falling down. No wonder they wouldn't allow us without the presence of an adult.
One step. Only one step... And my pain would go away. I don't matter, not even my parents wanted me.   I was without him. I stopped caring.
Seeing the height .. I was sure the damage would be critical for a child like me.
I..just have to take one step and we'll be together. None of us will be alone. I was read...I was...

I could see the street, it was empty. I was hesitating for a moment. I could have sworn, I saw someone...
A person. A man.. he..looked similar to the one who took Dan away. But no, this one had some angelic wings or...I was hallucinating. He disappeared..
What could it be? My mind was playing games due to the lack of sleep?  I got no idea. I was standing there, searching around. Yet..I didn't give up on my plan. I wanted to make sure that no one was there so they won't stop me and won't see me like..I saw Dan back then..

"Go back boy, it's not your turn"

Suddenly I could hear something. Like a very soft whisper, yet I could understand easily.
I was scared. I wanted to jump but I couldn't.  Then..I saw someone else. It was Dr Sanchez. He was leaving somewhere. I could see him easily and he probably spotted me. But I couldn't hear him at all.
I didn't notice where or when he disappeared. I was focusing on the creature I heard. And..wanted to take that final step.
My life meant nothing. It never did but at least I had friends, they were like my family. I had no one anymore. Who cares if I won't be around? I'm just a child...an unwanted one.
I tried.
I tried and tried but my body was petrified. So stupid. As if it didn't understand what I wanted. I tried to move my leg but it didn't do anything.

- I'm coming Dan..I...I will be there soon. I'm sorry it's...taking so long..I'm a little scared..

I was wondering if it'd hurt. Maybe or probably it would.  But not that much like my heart was hurting lately.
One more step. One simple movement and every pain will be gone..