Marshall

Christmas

I felt so very alone in this world. So very loveless.. What did I do wrong for not deserving to be happy? Why am I so different?   No one needed me, no one ever tried to love me. And it hurt...

- No one will love me my entire life? I'm not special..that lady said . But I'm not bad. I'm a good kid, I deserve a mama and a daddy..

Christmas was at the door. It's the holiday when people are full of love and shit. Mostly the latter.  But not a hint of love for a little child.
Holy night, sure. The adults were having fun. Most of the kids were outside, playing or watching movies in the projection room.
People forgot about their problems and forgot about Dan.. I know it's been a while, but why can they not care? Even Anton forgot..he stopped replying to me. Dan was dead and he was my only company.

Gabriel's POV

It was a very cozy and delightful night.  Like every year. The children were happy and the teachers and the social workers gathered together for a small party . Everyone was chatting, having a drink or too, not much. The last few months were successful, 12 children got adopted. It's pretty good, sometimes it takes almost a year to get adopted this amount. I always think about them, wondering how their little lives turn out with their new families. I'm strict with them but I love them all. Amanda too, she'd do anything for these children and they love her so much, it's not a surprise.

- This year was good. So many children found families.
- I agree Mariah, but let's not forget about our loss. We lost poor little Daniel.

How could we forget? He was one of the nicest of these children. And I know well how much Marshall missed him.
We haven't had this  so few of children in this orphanage for a while. It was little silent. People were having fun but the snow storm was forming and coming to the town. It was time to ask Mr Green to get the children inside.

Victor's POV

I was feeling a little guilty to be part of a party, relaxing and having fun while we just lost Daniel a few months ago. And Marshall didn't let us help him. I tried but he turned away. I didn't give up. I decided to start over after the holidays. I had a weird feeling and the storm near just made it worse. And honestly? We weren't prepared for it, I had to find my lover , so we could leave in time.

- Hey, I was just thinking about you .
- Really handsome?
- Not now Vincent..
- What's the matter?
- I just feel anxious. Do you mind if we head home? Sorry I know it's early but I want to avoid the storm
- Got it. Alright. Let's say goodbye then?
- Yeah.. I'll give my presents to the children and check on Marshall, then we can leave.

I always had some little gifts for these kids. They deserved it and making them happy is worth everything.

Marshall's POV

I didn't want to watch movies or play. I was so tired of crying .  There were new children who I didn't even know and I wasn't even in the mood to get to know them. I sneaked out to the graveyard to visit him. No one else did..
I didn't forget, he was there alone and dead, I was here alive but lonely. I could be his company.
I sat down on the ground and talked to him as always and also  swept the snow off of his grave .

- Dan..hey.. You know what day is it? Christmas.. we forever liked this day, remember? Because we were allowed to play all day and we built the best snowman.  But..I don't think I like it anymore, it's not the same now. Anton doesn't visit me and...and you're under this stupid ground. I can't understand why..

I felt my tears coming , dried them with the sleeve of my jacket.

- I mean..I know why you're there but I can't accept.  You see.. I'm not dead but I feel that inside .. Dan, if I'm unwanted and loveless, can't we switch? You..could be here . I hate this, I hate this so very much.. I have this pain in my hear all the time..

I felt a little cold so I curled up, gently stroking the small grave just the way I used to stroke his head

- It's cold..sorry I wanted to get us hot cocoa but I'm not allowed in the kitchen.

I stayed there, telling him about everything. About my feelings then asked him about his.  I waited for him to answer but he never did.

- I can't say Merry Christmas...I only say forgive key because I couldn't be there with you..

I laid down , the snow kept falling on me. The grave and my clothes for covered in no time. I didn't care.. I gave up..

Victor's POV

It was nearly midnight. The children were sent to sleep. Time for us to leave but only one more thing. I wanted to talk to Marshall, to promise him that once the holidays end we'll be back to him.

- Leaving already?
- As we must. The storm is already here and the road is probably icy.  Thank you for this party , it was marvelous as always
- You're welcome. I hope you had a nice time . We'll wait for you two to be back in January.
- But of course Mrs Rosa. Let me just see Marshall then we really are going.
- He's in his room. Mr Williams said everyone was sent to sleep
- Mm..in that case. I'll just leave this...

Before I could handle Marshall's present to Mrs Rosa, Mrs Spencer broke into us . She was sweating and was pale.

- What is it Amanda? Have you seen a ghost?
- I can't...I..I can't find him! Mr Williams said he was with the other children but he's not...
- Wait what? Who?
- Marshall! Probably sneaked out! I checked the roof and he's not there!

Just what I feared..  my heart was throbbing so violently. I called Vincent real quick to help me find that boy. Almost all of us were looking for him. The storm was getting stronger and it was very difficult to see anything or anyone outside..
A small group went outside , yelling his name, but we got no luck or response.

- I can't see shit in this storm!
- Let's not give up..he must be around. He misses Daniel, let's check the graveyard..

I informed Mrs Rosa that me and my lover would check the graveyard. She and a few teachers went in the garden .  We had to find him..  I promised him that he's not alone, I can't fail him.

- Victor..there is no use of walking  around blindly, I doubt he's out here. My ass is frozen, imagine how cold he ....ow ..!!
- Vincent ??

I hurried to help my partner up. I noticed a suspicious pile that he tripped over.

- Hey..it... it's him...

Vincent groaned and instead of getting up he quick dug the child out of the snow. I tried to help as much as I could.

- He's freezing...!
- But is he alive? Let's go back inside real quick!

While Vincent took Marshall back , I called an ambulance then went to find the others.

- Is he alright?? Tell me he's fine..
- We..don't know yet but the ambulance is on the way Mrs Spencer...now let's hope for the best..

That day..that night, that little child got very close to his friend. It was clear that he has give up.  He fell asleep on that grave, not mindig the cold and the snow.  Poor innocent soul wasn't able to move on from that traumatic event. Yet, it wasn't the moment when he was the closest to Daniel. Only if we knew, how his adulthood will be in a few years...