Marshall

Guilt

Like I said earlier, after the holidays ended I decided to bring up the pregnancy topic again. I hoped we won't end up arguing like before. More than a year passed since they , who knows how she would react. I was at home, being sick. Charlotte was away , having her classes. It was her last year. I was excited for her. I only wish I could support her more. Wilson was my company , he was a good boy.

- I'm telling her today. You think she will be happy? I'm a little worried that she doesn't want it anymore..

*BARK*

- Yeah.. but I'm ready . Although it's up to her, she's the one who'll carry a baby.

Maybe this will change everything. It was supposed to strengthen our relationship. Our 5th year anniversary was coming. Only a month after my birthday . It was perfect timing. She was almost done with her studies, we had money, we had a home. The next step? To marry her. Not yet though.. Wait...

- Wilson..I'm stupid. Don't you think I should propose her first? But a ring is so expensive. She deserves the best .

*BARK*

- Right.. Maybe after the pregnancy. I'll have enough time to get more money. Maybe..in a different way. And here I am, talking to a dog. I was going nuts slowly.

Charlotte's POV

Clayton and I were out, we pretended to have some private classes in the library. But in reality, I was pleasing him in an abandoned section.  I liked how he let me have my way with him. Always letting me be on my knees, if you catch my drift.
I didn't plan to return home anytime soon, I was having fun. Once I was done I let her have me in the woman's bathroom. It was exciting. The idea of getting caught or being heard. When we finished he went out to smoke and I chose to fix my make up.

- Girl you still got it . Having him wrapped around your finger.

I was talking to the mirror, being happy and proud of myself although I shouldn't be. I was putting on fresh lipstick when out of nowhere I noticed someone behind me.

- Oh crap..!
- Busy?
- Carmen.. don't scare me like that!
- You know what they say when someone gets scared easily?
- No.
- Do you have  a guilty conscience?
- Not really.
- Yeah? You should.

I turned around to see her face to face. I had no idea what was she talking about.

- How is life , Charlotte?
- Good, good. I finish my studies this year.
- Aw. That's nice. It's weird how we never bumped into each other.
- I thought you dropped...after the miscarriage.
- Oh I just stayed away for a few months. You should know if you were actually going to school.
- I do..
- Right. And are you sucking your teachers for better grades? Or is it a special treatment only for Mr Green?
- W..what..

I felt dizzy and despite the make up on my face, I was pale. What did she know?!

- I should have known. Once I learned that Christine got knocked by the principal. I knew you weren't better. I guess your standers ain't that high, huh? A simple teacher's cock is enough for you.
- I have no idea what you're talking about...
- Aw. Let's pretend I didn't witness you with his meat down your throat. And let's also pretend that I didn't hear you moaning in the  booth next to the one I was using .

Shit. Shit...shit ..shit!!! I was in trouble. How could we be this careless??

- And I don't assume that you and Marshall broke up.
- Just don't tell him anything!
- Why not? He's literally the sweetest. He's doing SO MUCH for you. And here you're betraying him.
- You don't know anything..
- Do I not? Is he not your boyfriend? Have you not got banged like 10 minutes ago? By who? Definitely not Marshall.
- Stop it..! Keep your mouth shut!
- Should I?

I now sounded like Christine before. Annoyed and desperate. She can't go around and tell what happened!

- Either you dump this man or tell Marshall that you're a cheating bitch. And see if he still wants you.
- Why are you like this now?!
- Why I'm like this??? You dumb skank. He is my friend too. He's been through a lot. He trusts you. You're a goddamn slut with princess attitude. I hope he leaves you.
- Don't you dare to run your mouth or I'll ruin your life!
- Hahaha!! Mine? Please. You're not the one who should threaten someone. Grow the hell up and tell him. Before I do.

I wanted to scream. She got me so furious! What does she know?!!
I stormed out, tried to find Clayton to tell him what happened. But I was scared... I left him a text, saying that I had to leave .
I couldn't believe.. the nerve of some people!!
I had to pull myself together, not to appear suspicious. Dump my affair? No way I can do that. As long as there is no a ring on my finger, I'm free.
When I got back to the apartment, Marshall was awake and cooking. I did feel bad.. he was doing this all for me, for us.

- Hey
- Welcome back! Come, sit, sit! I'm almost done.
- Babe, you should be resting.
- I'm better now. I wanted to cook for you. I bet you had a long day. Rest now and tell how did the classes go.

My heart clenched in pain. Did he deserve it? Absolutely no. But did I do it ? Absolutely yes.. I had no appetite but since he put so much effort in it , I ate some. He was sweet, took care of everything. There is no way I'm telling him about the affair. I don't want to hurt him.

- ...so, I think the exams will go well.
- I'm so glad. I can tell you're going to pass.
- Thank you for believing in me. It means a lot.
- Of course.

He placed a kiss on the top of my head. I wanted to cry. Marshall was literally the cutest guy ever.

- Charlotte.. there is something that I want to talk about..

There it is! Please say he's cheating too! Then I won't feel this bad. Unless..he knows about my affair. No way. He's being caring.

- What's that ?
- I don't want more argument and I'm kind of worried to bring it up so..please listen me first.
- Go ahead.
- I..was thinking. You said you'd want a family. I said it was early . A little time passed but we are here. With more money and you finish school soon.
- Yes?
- How about..once you're done..we start the baby project?
- Uhmm...

Maybe if I get pregnant , that can end this nonsense. Once we become a family. Yes. This will do it.

- Do you really want?
- Well, yes. I always wanted to have a family. But now I want to have my own family. If you still want as well .
- You're so sweet.. of course I want. I'd like to have a family together with you. Thank you. You make me happy.

I knew I will have to change. For him, for our future child too. They both deserve better. A better self of mine. I despised myself for doing this but hell, having some fun out of the house made me feel so alive.