ROAD RAGE | Jaywon

Chapter 33: this again

JUNGWON

The next morning, I found myself sitting in a van and we're heading home since the weekend is starting to end. My ears are occupied with earphones. The rhythmic thrum of the music provided a welcome distraction from the chaos of my thoughts.

Sunoo was beside me, his usual lively chatter a bit subdued, perhaps sensing my need for quiet. Across the aisle, Sunghoon was looking for a seat, his gaze occasionally flickering towards me. The guilt and tension between us hung heavy in the air.

I could feel Sunghoon's hesitation, the unspoken words between us creating an awkward barrier. He eventually settled into a seat a couple of rows behind me, his expression a mix of regret and resignation. I tried to focus on the passing scenery outside the window, but my mind kept drifting back to the previous night's kiss and the confusion that still lingered.

As the van filled up with Ni-ki sitting beside Sunghoon and Heeseung with his lover in the front seat, the mood slowly lifted. Sunoo leaned in closer, whispering conspiratorially.

"You okay, Won?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes.

I nodded, managing a small smile. "Yeah, just... a lot on my mind."

Before Sunoo could ask further, the van door opened once more, and the man I wanted to avoid stepped in. His eyes scanned the seats, finally landing on the empty spot next to me.

He walked over, his expression unreadable, and paused for a moment before speaking.

"Is this seat taken?" Jay asked, his voice surprisingly neutral.

I didn't even glance up as his voice cut through the quiet of the van. My focus remained fixed on the window, watching the lively color of the beach.

The weight of my thoughts felt like a heavy anchor, and the last thing I wanted was to deal with his presence.

"Is this seat taken?" he repeated, his tone a shade softer but still holding that neutral edge.

I made a conscious effort to ignore him, hoping that if I didn't acknowledge his presence, he might just get the hint and leave me alone.

I shifted slightly in my seat, deliberately turning my body away from him. I could feel the tension in the air, thick and uncomfortable, but I refused to meet his gaze.

For a moment, there was silence. I could sense Jay hovering, his footsteps hesitant as if he was waiting for me to respond. I stayed silent, my heart pounding with a mix of irritation and anxiety.

"Jungwon," Jay said after a moment, his voice edged with a hint of frustration. "Are you going to make me stand here?"

I remained stubbornly silent, my focus fixed on the passing scenery. I could hear the faint rustling of Jay's clothing as he shifted his weight, his presence lingering like a shadow over my peace.

Isn't this what he wanted? To stay away from each other? Then what is he doing? Trying to talk to me, when he already dropped those hurtful words? Fuck you Jay, Fuck you.

Sunoo, sensing the tension but unsure how to defuse it, finally spoke up. "Jay, maybe you should sit somewhere else."

I could feel his gaze still fixed on me, but he didn't press further. With a resigned sigh, he finally chose a seat further down the van, beside Ni-ki.

I could hear the soft thud of him settling into the seat, and the van's interior seemed to exhale a collective breath of relief.