Him & I (Newtmas story)

Chapter 20: Welcome Back From The Dead

Hello! Me again. How are you all doing? Sorry it's taken me this long to update, I totally suck. Also, thanks to all that have made it this far, I've been looking back on previous chapters and yeesh, I'm amazed you guys have put up with a ton of my trash writing... I promise I will try harder to keep you guys entertained, and write better. Also, feel free to comment any suggestions or critiques y'all might have, I'm always open to learning how to make this better. 🙃 Now, chapter 20!

Newt's POV:

I'm falling, down, down, down, down. Into voids of darkness, places where no light can penetrate, places hidden in the deepest depths of yourself. In a place where nothing exists, everything is just cold, dark, empty space. It's freezing, I'm freezing, I'm shaking. My teeth are chattering, my feet are frozen in place. I can't move, I can feel myself going colder, I can feel the blood freezing in my body, my heart slowing, my head clouding over. 

What's happening to me? The last thing I remember is being in Thomas's arms, after that, it's all a blur. If I could call out I would, but my lips are frozen together. I knew I was dying, there's no doubt about it. I'm not quite sure why I'm so upset about this, I mean, I've always wanted to die. Ever since I pitched myself off the maze wall, and even before that, I've wanted to die. But when Thomas found me in my little shed, my world had come crashing down. I thought he'd be disgusted by me, I thought he'd hate me, I thought that he'd never want to associate with me ever again. But he didn't, he helped me, he was there for me, he was kind and honest with me. 

He made me feel like sometimes, within this broken, crumbling, world, there was someone who actually cared about me. That there was someone who saw me for who I truly was, and still accepted me anyway, still wanted me. That's something I've always searched for,  yearned for, but have never actually had it happen to me until Thomas came. I wish I could've met him in a different time, in a different place, maybe there things would've been different. Maybe. 

I realise now, after years of searching for a reason to stay. what makes me so scared about dying now,  because Thomas is holding me here, he's holding me to this Earth, keeping me together. I can't really explain it, but something inside me has latched onto Thomas, so even if I die here, alone, in a strange place; I know that part of me will still remain with Thomas. I know that part of me will still be with him, even when I'm gone. 

Suddenly, something's different, the cold was melting away, I was getting warmer. I felt my lips finally part, I was able to breathe. The cold was draining away, and warmth had spread all over my body. I breathed. Maybe this is what dying feels like, warm, comforting. I flickered my eyelids open, wanted to see the angels that have come to rescue me from this world. But as I opened my eyes, there was just a bright light shining in my face, piercing my skull. I rubbed at my eyes with my hands, just to realise they were bandaged. 

I peered out of the corner of my eyelids and saw flames, flickering shadows against the walls. I saw the flames dance around me, around each other. I wondered, this cannot be what dying feels like? I don't want to be burned to death. As I was weighing my options of either making a run for it, or letting myself be burned to death, basically die now or die later. I heard a familiar voice speak through the dust, and heavy footsteps moving closer. 

"Who-who's there?" I called, not willing to open my eyes. 

"Newt..." The voice said, "Oh man, so glad you're not dead you ugly shank."

Then I was yanked into a bone-crushing hug. I squinted my eyes open, and there he was, Minho. I almost cried out with joy and squeezed him tighter, happy tears brimming my eyes. After a minute, I pulled away and got a good look at him. His hair was messy and frayed, his clothing was very tattered and dirty, he looked like he hasn't slept in days, and his arms were bandaged in places. Still I was so glad to see him.