Chapter 5: Piano room trigger

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A/N: this chapter contains abusive trauma flashbacks and my possibly bad attempt of writing a panic attack because I never had one

Shuichi's POV (3rd person):

Shuichi was sitting alone in the dining hall, why alone if he befriended Kokichi? Well it seems like Kokichi decided to sleep more after the morning announcement so now the detective was alone.

The bluenette was eating in silence as he heard someone walking over to him, soon sitting next to him.

"Good morning Shuichi!" Kaede greeted with a cheerful smile.

"Oh, good morning Kaede." Shuichi greeted Kaede while he kept eating breakfast.

"I found my ultimate research lab, I was wondering if you would want to come with me."

Shuichi thought about it a little, Kokichi wasn't here so he would be bored if he stays alone for too long even though sometimes it is nice to be alone.

"Sure, why not?" Shuichi gave a small polite smile to Kaede, and he could have sworn that her face turned a bit pinkish, but Shuichi ignored it and went to finish his breakfast.

Afrer eating, Shuichi and Kaede walked over to the ultimate research lab for the ultimate pianist, and sure enough there was indeed a piano.

Kaede looked everywhere in the room, seeming excited to see the pretty decorations and the piano.

"It feels like heaven! I love it here already!" Kaede then sat on the chair in front of the piano and started playing meanwhile Shuichi was standing there a bit awkwardly, not knowing how to react at her great piano skills.

Soon, Kaede stopped playing and looked at Shuichi with a wide grin.

"Hey Shuichi, do you know how to play the piano?" She asked, genuinely curious.

"E-erm.. I mean I've learned a bit but it's been a while." Shuichi admits, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away.

"Really? Can you try playing please? I wanna hear you play!" The optimistic pianist beamed, getting up from the chair before lightly pushing Shuichi towards the piano.

"I'm not sure... I'm just gonna mess up."

"It's okay to make some mistakes! come on, pretty please!"

Shuichi sighed, he wanted to get this over with, so he just sat on the chair in front of the piano.

The detective took his time to remember a music that he knew, it's been a while so it makes sense. He then remembered that he knew some parts of Für Elise, it was a pretty basic one but it still sounds good and is one of the first song you would learn as a beginner, atleast only the beginning.

Shuichi sighed, he found it pretty awkward to play in front of someone, but he just started to get it over with.

his fingers were pressing on the piano's keyboard anxiously for some reasons. Kaede did say that it was okay for him to make mistakes but he still felt anxious about messing up, it was like something bad would happen if he messed up something.

and of course, the stress started getting to him. His shaky hands accidentally pressed on the wrong notes, making Shuichi flinch, as soon as he heard the wrong note, his vision changed, it was a bit blurry at first but when he could see properly again, all he could see was a piano a bit different from the one he was playing with a few seconds ago. It wasn't the only odd thing, Shuichi looked down at the piano's keyboard to see a horrible sight of blood drops on the once white keyboard. The scared boy looks over at the origin of all this blood, seeing... his arms covered in cuts, he knew for a fact that he doesn't harm himself, so who would do that to him?

Shuichi looks over to where Kaede was supposed to be, but instead, he sees a woman with a blurry face holding a bloody knife.

Shuichi suddently came back to reality, realizing that he was breathing heavily and staring at his lap, he heard Kaede's muffled voice, but what caught his attention was... A warm hand holding his and giving it a gentle squeeze. Shuichi looked up to see who was holding his hand... He saw Kokichi standing next to him while giving him a gentle smile that felt very comforting for the detective.

Slowly, Shuichi calmed down, looking back at Kaede who looked worried and tried to comfort him aswell even though all he heard was her muffled voice.

"Shuichi, do you feel better? do you want some alone time?" Kaede asked worriedly.

Shuichi slowly nodded, looking away from her. The pianist nodded and left, Kokichi was about to leave too but Shuichi gave the boy's hand a gentle squeeze as a sign that he wanted him to stay. "Please... don't leave..."

Kokichi looked back at Shuichi and smiled softly, moving in front of him.

Shuichi slowly reached over to Kokichi, looking at him with pleading eyes while his body language asked for a comforting hug.

Kokichi nodded at this and sat on Shuichi's lap while they both hugged.

"You looked like you saw something horrifying." Kokichi stated calmly.

"You.. saw me?"

"Yeah, I heard someone play the piano so I wanted to check it out and I saw you with Kaede."

Soon, a comforting silence was heard as Shuichi nodded at Kokichi's explaination.

"What did you see, Shuichi?"

"A bloody piano... M-my arms covered in cuts and... A woman with a blurry face and a knife. It was scary.. I don't even remember living something like that."

"Maybe it's a flashback of memories that your brain wanted to shove in the back of your mind because it's a traumatic memory?" Kokichi suggested, making Shuichi shrug.

"But wouldn't I also remember what happened?.. Maybe that never happened and I'm going crazy."

"There's only one way to see if it really happened"

"What is..." Shuichi trailed off as he saw Kokichi start to roll up his sleeves, after rolling them up, Kokichi and Shuichi both looked at his arms...

there was visible scars that looked like they healed a while ago, but still visible enough to know that those scars were made atleast one year ago or less. (if yall don't know how it makes sense, in the preview book where that happened the cuts were made around the beginning of the school year, and the killing game also started in the beginning of the school year so yeah atleast one year passed since those cuts were made)

Shuichi stared at his arms in disbelief, the thought of that memory being a real event that happened gave him a shiver down his spines, Kokichi hugged him once again to comfort him while the detective tried his best to process everything.

Kokichi's POV (3rd person):

Kokichi had to admit that he saw something aswell when Shuichi had this flashback.

he saw a memory of him looking at a video on his phone that Shuichi sent him, it was a video of Shuichi being injured over and over again everytime he made a mistake. Thinking about that almost gave Kokichi the urge to puke by the memory of all the blood that was seen spilled from the poor boy's arms...

That flashback made Kokichi's, protective leader side kick in, he's gonna take care of the traumatized detective and make sure that he feels safer. Maybe Shuichi would even end up joining his organization and... help with Kokichi's 'mastermind' plan. He didn't plan on trying to have an ally, but maybe a 'mastermind' with a 'traitor' would be more convincing for his plan.

(word count: 1271)

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