A Stalker's Love

9

Tim walked through the hospital corridors, eventually finding Angela in one of the waiting areas. 

"Hey," she said whilst walking over to him, "how's Lucy?"

"She's... I-I don't know, Angela. She's in shock, I think. There's more to the story than what she's told me, she confirmed that. Would you... would you talk to her? She said she'd talk to you." Tim asked, pleading in his eyes. 

"Yeah, of course." Angela said, patting Tim on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm sure she'll tell you when she's ready."

Tim smiled sadly. "Yeah, I know. She said that too." 

Angela knocked on Lucy's door before entering. "Hey, Luce. Tim said you'd tell me some stuff about your abduction that you didn't want to tell him?"

"Y-Yeah" Lucy stuttered. "It just... I'm scared he wouldn't understand, him being my former TO."

"I'm not sure I follow?" Angela asked, pulling up a chair and sitting next to her. 

"He... He managed to kidnap me. In my own apartment building. And then, he..." Lucy trails off, not wanting to admit anything outloud.

"Hey, take your time. I'm not going anywhere." Angela reassured.

"He... He raped me, Angela. He raped me multiple times." Lucy spat out. "How could I let this h-happen to me?! I'm a cop. At least last time I was still a rookie, you know? I was still learning. But this time..." Lucy started to spiral, tears forming in her eyes.

"Hey, hey. Don't do this. Lucy, this is not your fault." 

"It is, it is! Maybe..." Lucy stopped herself, not wanting to admit her deepest fear. She wouldn't even think about it now. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that I should have been able to defend myself."

"That's why you didn't want to tell Tim?" Angela said, laughing sadly. "Lucy, Tim doesn't think any less of you because you were unable to defend yourself from a crazy, obsessive stalker who caught you by surprise and sprayed you with some sort of drug." 

Lucy chuckled. "Well, when you say it like that..."

"Lucy, when you're ready, you should have a talk with Tim. He's worried sick, and he... he blames himself." Angela said, internally worried about how much Tim was going to suffer because of this.

Lucy's face crumpled, her own worries about how Tim was going to handle everything arising. "I know. If he's still around, could you ask him to come see me? I-If he wants to, that is." 

Angela smiled. "Of course he does! I'll go grab him." As she left, Angela couldn't help but chuckle to herself; these two were hopeless.

Lucy layed in her hospital bed, desparately trying to distract herself from her thoughts, knowing if she went down that rabbithole she wouldn't be in the right headspace for her talk with Tim, and she wanted to be attentive and alert during their conversation. Clearly her plan was not off to a good start, as she blinked back into focus to find Tim standing in front of her with a worried frown on his face. "Sorry, what?" She asked, embarrassed, her cheeks turning red.

"I asked how you were feeling. Where were you just now?" Tim asked softly as he sat down in the chair Angela had just been occupying.

She laughed. "I was just thinking about how I wanted to stay alert. I guess I became so focussed on that, that I forgot to actually stay alert." She said, putting her hands over her face. This was not how she wanted the conversation between her and Tim to go. "But I'm fine, really. I just... I wanted to talk to you about what happened with... with T-Tom, and why I didn't want to tell you earlier." She took a deep breath, but Tim spoke before she could get the words out.

"Look, Lucy, you don't have to tell me anything you're not comfortable with. I'm sorry if I've made you feel pressured into telling me-" Now, it was Lucy's turn to interupt him.

"No, it's not like that! I was... embarrassed. You taught me better than to get bested by a criminal. I should have seen it coming and I should have been more cautious, especially considering the notes I'd recieved before that, and I should have put up more of a fight or just not gone with him in the first place-"

"Woah, Lucy. Take a breath!" Tim said, chuckling slightly. Not at her pain, but at how quickly she had started speaking. "I'm not going anywhere, you can take your time to breathe!"

"If... If I pause to breathe, that means I have time to think. I don't want to be in my thoughts right now." Lucy admitted, looking down at her hands which had turned red from her fidgetting; a habit from her childhood, a coping mechanism against their constant disappointment and manipulation, and since then any stresses she faced. A habit Tim had noticed from their second day on their job but chose not to point it out, knowing it would stress her out more.

"Would talking it out help you? I know you love to do it, and I promise I'll go through the steps with you, and I'll even do it willingly!" He joked, trying to cheer up a bit, and succeeding.

"Are you sure?" She said, smirking. "I know how much you hate talking about feelings."

"For you, I'll do it." He said, not fully realising the implication of his words until it was too late. For you. It was true, for Lucy he would do anything, but admitting outloud to her was completely different. If Lucy picked up on it, though, she didn't say anything.

"I just... I let you down, and... and I proved my parents right." Lucy said, finally admitting the second part outloud.

"Okay, firstly, you haven't let me down. You were ambushed and drugged. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it. I... I should have done more," He held up his hand, sensing Lucy wa about to say something to the contrary. "Look, it's just the truth. It's happened to you twice under my watch, and this time I was right next to you when it happened. There's no excuse. Secondly, what are you talking about, proving your parents right?"

"Tim, I will be coming back to your remark about your part to play in all of... this, because you're wrong. But, with my parents... they never approved of my becoming a cop. The day I became a P2, they were meant to come have dinner at my apartment to celebrate. My father didn't even come, and my mother said she isn't proud of me and that becoming a cop was a mistake. On other occassions, she's gone as far to say that I'm not good enough to be a cop. I proved her right." Lucy tried to laugh it off, but the sound came out hollow. Besides, even she had faked her pain better, she knew Tim would have seen right through it.

Tim leaned in towards Lucy, taking hold of her hand and giving it a gently squeeze. "Hey. Look at me." He said softly. Lucy hesitated, but eventually looked up into Tim's ocean-blue eyes, tears forming in her own. "You, Lucy Chen, did not make a mistake by becoming a cop. You make the streets of LA a lot less dangerous by providing criminals with the justice they deserve. I've lost count of all the times you've recommended that a suspect needs mental help instead of prison. Do your parents know that? How many cases they've recieved because of you? Therapists across the city should build a statue in your honour as a thank you, and maybe give a trophy too seeing how much you love them. They're wrong, and it's their loss."

Lucy snorted at Tim's attempt to cheer her up as she laid back down in bed, suddenly feeling exhausted. All she wanted to do was close her eyes.

"Lucy?" Tim called her name whilst smiling, thinking she was just being funny. When she didn't respond, he became worried. "Lucy! Lucy, can you hear me?"

Lucy groaned. "I'm... so... tired..."