Someday, Who Knows?

Chapter 15: Final Goodbye

Ellie sat in the hospital waiting room, her hands trembling uncontrollably as she stared blankly ahead. Her mind replayed the events relentlessly, each memory sharper and more painful than the last.

Suddenly, the doors to the waiting room burst open, and her father rushed in, still in his work uniform, his face etched with worry and fear. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on Ellie. Without hesitation, he ran to her and enveloped her in a tight embrace, his grip both comforting and desperate.

"Ellie, how are you?" he asked, as he pulled back to look at her.

Ellie tried to steady herself, taking a deep breath. She could see the frantic concern in his eyes, and it broke her heart. "I'm okay," she managed to say, though her voice was shaky, and her hands continued to tremble.

Her father held her, trying to reassure himself that she was truly alright. He glanced around as if searching for answers in the empty corners of the room, before looking back at her.

"Your mother, how... why did she do it?" he muttered, more to himself than to Ellie. There was anguish in his voice, heavy with the weight of unspoken guilt. Ellie could see the torment in his eyes, the way his shoulders sagged under the invisible burden he carried.

The pain in her father's eyes matched how she felt. "I don't know, Dad," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "I just found her... and I... I didn't know what to do."

Her father's embrace tightened around her, his body trembling as he tried to keep himself composed. Ellie's cheek pressed against his chest, she could feel the rapid, uneven beat of his heart, mirroring the turmoil inside him.

"This is my fault," he confessed. "I should have been more attentive, more patient, but I wasn't. I left her tending to her misery."

Ellie pulled back slightly to look at him, seeing the tears that he desperately tried to hold back. His eyes, usually so strong and reassuring, were now clouded with regret and self-blame. She had never seen him like this, so vulnerable and broken.

"I tried, Ellie," he continued. "I tried for so long, but I couldn't do it anymore." His words were laden with months of unspoken pain and frustration. She could see the struggle in his eyes, the way he fought to keep the tears from falling. His composed exterior was crumbling, revealing the depths of his guilt.

Robert's mind was a battlefield of conflicting emotions. He had spent years trying to be the rock for their family, trying to support his wife while managing his responsibilities. But the weight of her pain and his grief from losing his son had slowly eroded his patience and his ability to cope, but maybe because part of him blamed his wife. He had felt himself slipping, each day a little more, until he could no longer bear the strain.

In these darkest moments, he had castigated himself for not being able to save his wife from her despair. He had tried to be strong, to shield Ellie from the worst of it, but in doing so, he had distanced himself, hoping that by focusing on his work and providing for the family, he could somehow make things right. But now, standing in the hospital hallway, he realized the depth of his failure.

Ellie bit her lower lip, suppressing a cry as her guilt haunted her too. She had given up on her mother, retreating into her heartache. After the tragedy of her brother drowning, Ellie couldn't bring herself to forgive her mother for closing the door to her emotions, shutting everyone out instead of seeking comfort. And now, her mother had taken her own life, leaving Ellie with a deep, nagging regret.

Ellie reached up, placing her trembling hand on his cheek, "Dad, it's not your fault," she said softly, tears streaming down her face. "We both tried. We did everything we could."

The noise in the emergency room was a whirlwind of frantic activity as the medical team worked desperately to save Ellie's mother. The flatline sound of the heart monitor pierced the air, sending a chill down Ellie's spine. She watched in horror as a doctor shouted, "Epinephrine, stat!" A nurse swiftly injected the medication, but the heart monitor remained flat.

"CPR, now!" another doctor commanded, and the team sprang into action. The rhythmic compression of her mother's chest seemed both violent and desperate. Ellie stood frozen; her hands clasped tightly over her mouth to stifle her sobs. Her father stood beside her, his face pale and drawn, his eyes never leaving the scene before them.

"Clear!" The shout came as the defibrillator paddles were applied. Ellie's heart pounded in her chest, mirroring the frenzied pace of the resuscitation efforts. The jolt of electricity caused her mother's body to jerk, but the heart monitor remained ominously silent.

Again and again, the team worked their shouts and movements in a blur of urgency. Ellie felt as if she were trapped in a nightmare, unable to wake up. The room seemed to close in around her, mingling with the scent of fear and desperation.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the doctor stepped back, a look of solemn resignation on his face. He glanced at the clock on the wall and then spoke with finality. "Time of death: 8:25 PM."

The words hit Ellie like a physical blow. She staggered backward, her hands still covering her mouth, her eyes wide with disbelief. Her father let out a choked sob, his knees buckling as he clung to the edge of the nearest chair for support. The room seemed to spin around them, the reality of the loss crashing down with brutal force.

Ellie turned to her father; her vision blurred by tears. She reached out, and they clung to each other, their shared grief an unspoken bond, and for a long while, they simply held each other, their tears mingling as they mourned the loss of the woman who had been a wife and a mother.

As the minutes ticked by, the chaotic noise of the emergency room faded into the background, replaced by a heavy silence. Ellie and her father remained locked in their embrace; their hearts shattered but united in their grief. The enormity of what had happened began to sink in, and Ellie knew that their lives would never be the same again.

The funeral was held at Green Meadows Funeral Home, a quiet, dignified place surrounded by blooming gardens. The chapel within was small yet serene, offering a peaceful space for mourning. The air was thick with the scent of lilies and roses, floral arrangements lining the front in a final tribute.

Family, friends, and neighbors filled the wooden pews, their faces etched with grief and empathy. Whispers mingled with the gentle background music, creating a hushed reverence. The air felt heavy, laden with unspoken sorrow and shared memories of Ellie's mother.

Jeremy and Charlie stood at the back of the room. They glanced around, noting the familiar faces—each person a thread in the fabric of Ellie's life, now gathered to offer their condolences.

After the service, as the crowd slowly dispersed to the cemetery for the burial, Jeremy and Charlie approached Ellie, who stood by the steps of the funeral home, her face pale and drawn.

"Ellie," Jeremy began softly, his voice filled with genuine concern, "we're so sorry for your loss."

Charlie nodded, his eyes reflecting the sorrow he felt. "If you need anything, we're here for you."

Ellie managed a small, grateful smile, though her eyes remained distant. "Thank you, both of you. It means a lot to have you here."

Jeremy shifted uncomfortably, wanting to say more but unsure of the right words. "We, uh, we were just talking and... We can't imagine what you're going through. But we want you to know that you don't have to go through it alone."

Charlie placed a gentle hand on Ellie's shoulder. "Yeah, we're here for you, Ellie. Whatever you need." 

Ellie nodded; her throat tight with emotion.

As the trio stood there in the fading light of the afternoon, Ellie watched the finality of the burial as her mother's coffin slowly lowered into the earth, the sound of the ropes creaking adding to the somber atmosphere. Her eyes filled with tears as she whispered her last goodbye.