One decision

Chapter fourteen: Distractions

Katniss POV:

The first days went pretty good i was able to at least take a few bites of all my meals its was hard at first but Julia suggested trying different stuff to distract my brain. We tried stuff like reading, watching tv, listening to music and drawing.

It worked for about two-three days but than it was weigh in time.
The scale beneath my feet reads 97lbs.
Julia is holding my hand as she helps me sit back in my wheelchair. She tries to talk but I'm not listening. My hole body feels suffocated. Like I'm slowly burning alive. When I'm back at my room my breathing has speed up and my palms are sweating. My heart is racing and all i can think about is how fat I've become. I need to lose weight i need to!!
- Katniss, are you okey?

I shake my head trying to signal that I can't breathe. Julia immediately understands and walks over to my side holding my shaking hands in hers.

But even her efforts doesn't work and soon the panic attack takes over.
My hole body is shaking, I'm sweating and pulling at my shirt, my ears are ringing and my heart beat fills my head pounding hard feels like it's going to jump out my throat.
I'm gasping for air and my vision is blurry.
Somewhere in the background i can hear Julia saying something but it just sounds like a mumble to me. I don't know how much time has pass until the door opens and two blurry figures walk up to me.
I can barely feel my body anymore i am so scared.
That's when i black out.

I wake up a few hours later, exhausted, the panic attack has ended but now it's lunchtime.
I sit and stare at the plate, I can't eat it! I can't!! Tears are rolling down my cheek's landing on my blanket.
- Katniss, please just take a few bites.

- I c-can't
I manage to get out between my sobs. Julia reaches for my hand and holds it tight. After almost an hour I manage to take three bites. Julia is satisfied and i can go back to sleep, finally.
I count down the days until i get to come home, 21 days.