𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒? . logan sargeant

eighteen ,, i miss you, im sorry

lina piastri wasn't great at ignoring people. this is what it meant to be a people pleaser; she didn't want to disappoint people even when she would like them to feel disappointed. it's confusing.

considering how much she wanted to go against her own plans and reply, she didn't for a while somehow. it took a lot of willpower to force herself to not answer.

she deleted instagram for a few days - to stop her being tempted to reply. she needed to prioritise herself first.

it was a little stupid - she would even admit that herself - but he had lead her on first. it wasn't like she was doing it to logan for no reason; he had brought this situation onto himself when he came running back because he was jealous.

she didn't know if she would regret ignoring him though, but it gave her time to heal. she knew it was selfish leading him back and then not replying, but how was he to know that the post was made for him?

he would probably assume it was made for him, knowing what he was like. lina knew that part of her wanted him to think it was about him, because the uncertainty meant that she would be on his mind a lot.

wondering whether it was a bad idea, she made the impulsive decision to text him on imessage. so much for avoiding him on instagram!! but at least she didn't break her plans of ignoring on there, right?

logan was confused when he received a text from her late at night through imessage, they hadn't texted on there in a long time - but to be honest, they hadn't texted on any app in a long time.

it was weird because he thought she was just trying to be awful, or that he was being too forward and that's why she didn't reply. and then lina decides to text him on a completely different app while he's been on delivered for 3 days?

he didn't question it, because he was scared that if he did then she would decide to ignore him again. if she was going to tell him what she was doing, he was sure she would do it at a more suitable time for her.

logan was still going through some issues. he wished he could talk to lina about it, but he still wasn't ready to speak to anyone. he even couldn't get a therapist because it was too daunting.

even oscar, his childhood best friend, didn't seem like a suitable option to confide in about what he was going through. that's when he knew something was going wrong, him and oscar always told eachother everything.

so, there were many other places to call before he wanted to go to lina about it, and he wished he could make her understand. and if she understood, she could be patient.

he just couldn't get the words out to explain why he wasn't ready for all the public attention that had come with their relationship in the first place. his anxiety had gotten the best of him.

logan couldn't even say the word out loud, because of how ashamed he was. he shouldn't have been, but he felt like it was embarrassing to explain.

how do you tell people you get anxious about social interactions? how do you say that you're basically.. scared of people? he didn't know, it was hard for him considering it made him unable to speak to anyone.

but lina would never understand, not really. because he couldn't tell her. if he tried, he would open his mouth and no words would come out, and she would think he was being stupid.

so, he just had to let her believe he didn't care. but he cared, more than she would ever know.