Crossing boundaries

17.

Becky's PoV

I just woke up and saw a text from Freen. A smile popped up on my face. She cares about me, but I wish I don't hurt her in the end.

She had sent a good morning message and asked if I was coming to college today. I replied that I was, and I knew she missed me.

She asked, "What are you doing?"

I said, "I was going to take a bath."

She said, "Me too. So, we're taking a bath together."

I smirked and replied, "You horny ass, stop imagining things and get ready fast. Meet you in college."

She said, "Ok babe, bye."

I went to the bathroom and took a cold shower. I love cold showers even in winter; they make me feel numb, just like my heart does. Last night, Freen and I were talking about our preferences. She said she loved hot showers, but if we ever bathed together—which is impossible, I know—she would take a cold shower with me because it was okay for her.

She's very happy, and I'm happy seeing her, but deep down I feel hurt. I feel hurt that I may hurt her. But for now, I inhaled. Let's just live in this moment. Tomorrow is uncertain.

I went to college, feeling quite happy. The teachers announced that the semester exams would be soon. Shit, I have to use my brain to study now.

Freen asked, "Why are you pouting?"

I said, "I don't want to put so much effort into reading."

She giggled and said, "Such a lazy ass."

I replied, "Whatever. I just want to pass."

She said, "Let me help you."

I went close to her face and said, "How?"

She gulped and stepped back. "I'll teach you, and we'll sit together while reading."

I smirked at her and said, "More like you drooling over me."

Freen's cheeks burned. She said, "Why can't I stare at my friend now?"

I looked at her and teasingly showed my fingers, forming a suggestive gesture. 👌👈

She gulped and asked, "What are you showing, Becky?"

I laughed and said, "I like to tease you." And I winked.

She said, "Shoo, let's start reading now."

I said, "It's so boring."

She said, "Oh come on, Becky. Let's start reading. I'll teach you practical subjects, okay?"

I nodded unwillingly. I knew she wouldn't let me go, so I just stayed and listened to her lecturing me. Some of it went over my head and some under. Only naughty ideas popped into my head on how to tease her.

Suddenly, there was a text on my IG. We took a break from reading, and I went through my phone. Suddenly, I became blank and couldn't move. It was him. He had texted me from a fake account, telling me that he loved me a lot and had just lost his father. He even said if I didn't get back to him, he would die.

My heart clenched, my brain immediately stopped. I stared at the ground blankly. Freen, who had gone to the restroom, just got back. Seeing me like that, she asked, "Becky, what happened?"

I said, "He texted me."

She said, trembling, "Your ex?"

I nodded. She asked, "What did he text?"

I said, "That he wanted me back, his father was no more, and he would die if I didn't go."

She clenched her teeth and said, "That idiot... don't worry, Becky. He won't do anything. And he really doesn't love you. He wouldn't have threatened you if he loved you."

I nodded but said, "I'm miserable and I just hurt everyone around me. No one can be happy around me. Freen, you should probably leave me before I hurt you. Please go."

She immediately hugged me and said, "Shh, everything is okay, and I'm not leaving you. Never!"

I nodded, but inside, I felt a storm raging. My heart pounded against my chest, my hands trembled, and a cold sweat covered my skin. The weight of my past and my fears threatened to drown me. Freen's embrace was warm and comforting, but I couldn't shake off the guilt and anxiety gnawing at me.

I felt trapped in a whirlwind of emotions. The memory of my ex's threats echoed in my mind, making me feel small and powerless. My chest tightened, and I struggled to breathe normally. The fear of hurting Freen, of being the cause of her pain, was overwhelming. I loved her as a friend, but I knew she deserved someone who could love her back the way she wanted.

As Freen held me, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on her warmth, her steady heartbeat against mine. For a moment, I allowed myself to believe that everything would be okay, that I wouldn't ruin everything. But the nagging voice inside me wouldn't let go. I knew I had to confront my past and my fears, but right now, I just wanted to stay in this moment, in Freen's arms, where everything felt safe.

I whispered, "Thank you, Freen. For being here."

She replied softly, "Always, Becky. Always."

Her words were a lifeline, pulling me back from the edge of despair. I clung to her, hoping that someday, I could be strong enough to face my demons without dragging her down with me. For now, I took comfort in her presence, trying to find some semblance of peace amidst the chaos inside me.

..........