One Body...Two lives...A Harry Potter Romance/Mystery

Chapter 37

Recap:

“But…it’s just so hard.” I finally looked at her, tears brimming my eyes.

“Oh, Lynli.” She quickly took me into a hug, letting me bury my head against her shoulder as the tears spilled down my eyes.

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I sat down by myself in a secluded corner of the Gryffindor table and started piling lunch onto my plate…or tried. I looked down at the small spoonful of mashed potatoes and still found myself only able to poke around that little bit.

I just couldn’t seem to find my appetite lately.

Sighing I just pushed my tray to the side and plopped my chin into my hand. Twisting it to the right I couldn’t help but sigh again, my gaze landing on Harry.

He was sitting next to Ron and Hermione, as usual. His hair looked a bit more unkempt than usual with a few shaggy bangs falling down over his forehead. It actually looked kind of cute mixed with the stubble.

Wait, stubble? Why does he have stubble? Or why is his hair so messed up? It’s not like he’s the one being shunned. I huffed, in my head and out loud. Which I realized only after someone’s attention was caught and I found myself caught in Harry’s gaze.

His eyes looked troubled, his pupils darting swiftly back and forth like he was looking for something. I attempted to open my mouth but the instant I moved something his face turned sour. I turned back the other way, convincing myself that it wouldn’t hurt as much if I didn’t have to watch him reject me. If I didn’t see it, maybe it didn’t happen.

I forgot about the little bit of lunch I tried to have and walked out of the hall. If he couldn’t be around me I sure as hell knew I couldn’t take being near him.

It may have been days but I could still feel the warmth of his lips that shot tingles down my spine and made the tips of my toes go cool. But now being able to feel it just added to the pain and despair that was growing in my heart.

I really did miss him. There was no way I could deny it.

And even 2 weeks later it was still taking control of my heart.

Hearing the musical whims of my magic alarm clock I started to slap at the thing on my night stand until something finally clicked and stopped.

Rolling over I slumped out of the bed and made my over to the women’s showers. Feeling the warm water cascading down my back was giving me the most enjoyable moments of solace I’d had in a while.

I combed my hand up in my hair feeling the suds run through the water between my fingertips. I followed my hands down tracing over my body. I could feel the tightness of my stomach-and not the good slim kind-and the thin skin covering my ribs.

I reached my hand out from the shower to grab a towel and stepped out. Tucking the cloth around my body I stepped up to the sink covered in my toweletries. I looked up to find myself staring at the unusually pale skin and deep bags under my eyes from the long sleepless nights.

The only good thing that was coming from all this was that with all the sleepless nights I hadn’t seen Voldermort since it all started.

As much as I missed Harry I didn’t want him to worry-if he actually had one bone in his body that cared for me still-over the way I’ve come to look. But today I didn’t seem to be able to put on the foundation that lightened my skin or creamer to cover my baggy eyes.

Forgetting about it all I grabbed the clothes I had set out on a hanger the night before and quickly changed.

Walking through the halls it wasn’t hard to notice the stares as I walked past. Not even bothering to pretend to eat I just skipped breakfast and went over to the dungeons to go sit and wait for Potions to begin.