Love me not

12. Intimacy

Aubrey Hall had always been a place that Penelope held dear. She adored its peaceful, tranquil atmosphere and fondly remembered the many visits there with Eloise. The Bridgertons had always made her feel at home. The estate was vast, and the main house boasted many wings and rooms. Despite the size of the Bridgerton family, there was always space for more. Penelope knew she'd enjoy her time there, especially since she needed a break from the hustle and bustle of London. The country, with the warmth of the Bridgertons, was the perfect escape.

Colin, on the other hand, didn't share Penelope's affection for Aubrey Hall. While he appreciated the quiet beauty of the area, he couldn't shake the painful memories of the difficult time his family had experienced there after his father's passing. He was just a boy then, and the memories of his father were faint. What stuck with him most were his mother's tears and anguished cries, while he tried to distract Daphne by playing with her.

But perhaps this was the moment for Colin to create new, happier memories with his wife. He was grateful for the balance they had finally found in their relationship. They were growing closer, getting to know each other in new ways. The peace in their home was tangible, especially since she had confessed that she still loved him. They spent time together, rediscovered their joy, and shared tender moments, including a few sweet kisses. Colin was careful not to rush her into anything she wasn't ready for, even though his desire for her remained strong. He was giving her the time and space she needed.

As they entered Colin's former bedroom, he asked, "Is this alright for you? I could arrange for Kate to set up a guest room."

Penelope turned to him and replied, "There's no need, Colin." She gave him a steady look. "It would seem odd, and it would spark too much gossip, if we didn't share a room."

Colin shrugged. "I don't mind what people say. I just want you to be comfortable."

"I am comfortable, Colin," she said, her gaze moving around the room. "You know, despite visiting Aubrey Hall so many times, I've never actually seen your room before."

"Well, it wouldn't have been appropriate before," Colin replied with a slight smile. He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her waist. "But it's not inappropriate now."

Penelope smiled, turning to face him. Their eyes met, and she spoke softly, "I don't want us to act like strangers anymore. I want you to know that even though there are still things between us that need resolution, I'm no longer pushing you away."

"And I don't want that either," Colin said, his voice gentle. "I don't want to rush you into anything." He cupped her cheek with tender care. "I want things to unfold at your pace, whether fast or slow."

Penelope smiled, her hand tracing along his arm. "I'm grateful for your patience and understanding. You're a good man, Colin."

Colin shook his head slightly. "I'm not, Penelope. I've made so many mistakes, especially this past year. I've wronged you, disappointed you, and hurt you." His voice softened with regret. "But you—you're a good woman. You found it in your heart to forgive me."

"Colin, listen," Penelope said, her voice steady. "If we keep living in the past, we'll never build a future. Yes, we had a difficult start, but we can create something peaceful moving forward. I love you for who you are now and who you were before, and I forgive you for the things you said and did. You were a true friend to me, and maybe, we were always meant to be together."

"We were," Colin agreed, his expression earnest. "I know that now. You were the only one who truly saw me, who was always there with kindness, always present. I'm certain we would still be married, even if there hadn't been the pressure to marry at that time. I can't imagine being married to anyone else. You are the one for me, Pen."