Love me not

3. Lonely in the world

He knew exactly where he was going as he left the Bloomsbury house that morning; he was headed to Greece, and then perhaps Italy and Spain. He had to get as far away as possible from Penelope, his family, and London.

He addressed letters to his family informing them that he would be traveling for the next several months and asking them to help Penelope while he was away. In a letter to his wife, he also expressed his lack of preparation to be a husband and told her that he did not hold any grudges against her.

One month into his travel, he found himself exploring the beauties of Greece, spending his days on the deserted beach in the sea breeze, and his nights in the local taverns, befriending the locals and flirting with the various beautiful women he met on his journey. Every step of the way, he felt the urge to record his thoughts in his journal, and occasionally, he would find himself thinking of Penelope and how much she would have loved to witness all that beauty. That was not unusual; he had previously traveled and had always written to her to share his experiences.

He then wrote his first letter to his wife, one month after departing from London. Like he normally did, it was a lengthy letter in which he asked about her and told her that he was okay while also detailing the places and people he had seen. It seemed as though nothing had changed, but he realized that everything had—she was no longer his best friend or the kind girl next door who would make fun of him for falling off the hourglass straight into the mud. Instead, she was his wife. She was a woman now and based on his memories of their wedding night, she was an extremely attractive woman. Even though he met many women during his travels, he never felt drawn to them as much as he felt drawn to Penelope that night. There was something about the way he found her body under that nightgawn that made him perceive her as a woman and not a sweet girl. Nevertheless, he chose not to consummate their marriage because he believes that if he had, he would have been stuck in London indefinitely and would not have been able to live apart from Penelope.

He attributed all of those emotions and desires on his inexperience. His brothers push him to visit brothels in order to obtain experience, but he didn't think that was the best way to lose his virginity—spending money on a random woman to have a sexual encounter with him.

Two months into his travels, he spent time exploring Sicily's natural beauty, taking in each location he encountered and recording it on his journal. Even though he never heard back from Penelope regarding the first letter, he nonetheless wrote her a second one. The second letter was similar to the first in that it asked about her and his family and gave her specifics about his trips. He did not receive an answer to that letter either, nor to the following 4 letter. Six months went by and she never responded. The only person who responded to his letters was his mother, who told him that everything was good in London and that Penelope was fine when he inquired about her.

He wanted to know more about her but was unable to do so. As he traveled from one location to another, he discovered that he was missing her and their extended conversation as well as hiding with her and engaging in endless gossip as well as talking to her about his travels. She was the one he missed the most, and he thought of her with tears in her eyes, dressed in her bridal gown. Gazing far into the distance, he breathed in the sea wind and that blue sea reminded him of his wife's eyes.

Penelope was his wife, and despite being surrounded by a large number of people, he feels incredibly alone and distant from her. It struck him like a lightning from the sky: he had to return home, he had to return to Penelope, he had to go back to her. Even though he was initially upset when he married Penelope, he eventually came to realize that it was not the worst thing in the world—rather, it was a beautiful thing—because she was the most amazing lady he had ever encountered.

°°°°°°°°°°

After months of restructuring, the house was finally ready. Penelope wanted to change many things in the house, especially the colors, going from blue to light green. She felt fulfilled and all the work of the last months kept her busy.

Rae approached Miss Penelope and said, "Miss Penelope, you have a visit."

Penelope entered the drawing room after walking down the corridor.

Kate: "Penelope, my dear,"  said as she walked over to give her a hug.

Penelope: '' Kate, I am happy to see you. '' grinned and said '' Is there something going on?''

Kate: "We haven't seen each other in weeks, so I just wanted to check in." she added, taking a seat on the couch.

Penelope: "It's true that I've been busy finishing up the house, but everything is finished now."

Kate: "It certainly looks fantastic." You've done a fantastic job.''

Carrying tea and biscuits into the drawing room, Rae placed them on the tea table before turning to face Penelope.

Rae: 'This is for you, Miss Penelope.'' handed her a letter and turned to leave.

PWithout even opening the letter, Penelope knew exactly who sent it. She got up and and put the letter in a drawer without opening and the walked back and had a sit in front of Kate.

Kate: '' Is that from Colin?'' inquired inquisitively and Penelope nodded '' You are still not opening his letters?''

Penelope: '' What good would that do to me?''

Kate: "I'm not sure, but perhaps he's trying to get in touch with you.Despite the fact that you never replied to his letters, he continued to send you letters.''

Penelope: '' I know Colin, he feels guily for leaving like he did but I do not care about that anymore.''

After inhaling deeply, Kate nibbled on some biscuits. Penelope noted that she appeared upset.

Penelope: '' Are you well, Kate? Is it the preganancy?''

Kate: '' No, the preganany is fine, the baby is growing healthy.''

Penelope: '' I am glab about that, but still I feel like there is something wrong.''

Kate: '' Penelope, perhaps you should open that letter from Colin.''

Penelope: "Why?" her anxious expression turned serious. "Did something happen to him?" she inquired.