Strings of love

26. Dard ka Chakravyuh

A R S H I

I stood tall in front of the bathroom mirror.

I can't bear to look at myself, but I can't tear my eyes away either. The mirror shows a stranger, a battered and bruised shell of the person I once was. My lips are swollen, my neck is ringed with purple and blue marks, and my eyes... my eyes are dead.

I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of pain and despair, unable to escape the weight of my fate. I'm trapped in this hell, with no escape, no respite.

"Why?" I whisper, my voice shaking with anguish. "Why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this?"

The tears fall like rain, streaming down my face as I confront the ruin of my life. I feel like I'm losing myself, disappearing into the darkness.

I'm scared, so scared, because I don't know how to stop this, how to turn the tide. I'm at the mercy of fate, and it seems determined to crush me.

In between a son and a father, my life is being crushed into pieces.

"In..my..past life...was I this bad..to suffer like this in this life? A dog...on the street lives better...than the life I lead now.." I sobbed harder, my voice breaking up.

Slowly, I walked towards the bathtub. It was filled with water, for once I thought of drowning myself in that water.

I held onto the edges and buried my face inside the tub full of water. I want to kill myself rather than live in this hell.

But i couldn't do it.

I moved up, my eyes almost coming out of the socket. My mouth opened wide for oxygen.

My chest rose up and down vigorously.

I fell on the floor and sat against the tub. Tears fell like autumn leaves falling from the trees.

Dead. Ripped. Crumbled.

"I...I...." *sobs* "Why..why every step of mine..is leading me further into darkness?
I am...I am.. stuck in a chakravyuh of pain and darkness, which is enabling me from reaching the light..." *sobs*

"Ami ar parchi na..ar hocche na Amar theke." *sobs harder*

(I can't do it anymore... I just can't take this anymore.)

Half an hour later

I forced myself to stand.

I was weak, my balance unstable.

I held onto the edge of the tub and wiped my tears from the other hand.

I dried myself and slipped into my comfy night clothes.

As I emerged out of the bathroom, my eyes fell on Rune, who was sleeping peacefully.

His chest rose and fell in a soft rhythm.

The figure in front of me is just the opposite person I see every day. The sleeping Rune has softness in him, he slept hugging his side pillow like a koala on tree.

The Rune I am seeing now is a child.

I slowly sat beside him.

"I know it's your father influence who taught you to be cold and rough...." I whispered.

"But I wish you never changed yourself... I wish I could...see..the soft and kind Rune like Viviana described....I just wished you could save yourself from this dark influence of your father...I wish you could resist your self from drowning into this sea of darkness...and hate.." A lone tear escaped my eyes as my voice broke.