The past that broke me

Chapter 20

⭐️ - Hardin's point of view - ⭐️

I wake up from someone shifting beside me I open my eyes and look beside me and smile. Tessa is laying on her back sleeping like a beauty. I kiss her forehead and make my way to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Today is Sunday and honestly I'm don't know what to do today Sunday is more a lazy day so we probably catch a movie.

I turn on the shower and step inside I just don't understand why her foster parents let her alone for 2 weeks I know there job is like a huge responsibility so the have to travel and it's good that they know my mom so they knew she will be safe with us. And the past is the past you can't always forget it but you can live with it and I understand is hard of course it is. But I see a future with her.

I have never felt this way about anyone but Tessa she makes my world stop, but I have a feeling that something is wrong that she isn't telling me it's just it looks like she's trying to make everything okay with smiling but you can't smile the pain away. I wash my hair and body and turn of the shower I stand in front of the mirror putting a towel around my waist.

I walk into my room again and see Tessa sitting on the bed "Tess? You okay?" She looks at me with tears in her eyes. I sit down next to her taking her hand in mine. "Yeah I just don't understand something I was thinking about" I look at her as she smiles a little but that disappeared as fast as she tried to smile. "You don't have to smile to escape the pain you feeling Tess I understand that it's hurting you but my mom always said if you want to live in the future you have to let go your past and forgive yourself baby. It wasn't your fault you did nothing wrong and I love you so much".

I see a tear escape her eye as I kiss her hands softly. " I know I have to forgive myself and live in the future but it's not always easy Hardin it's like it's haunting me until I die and yes I blame myself why can't I blame myself I could have stopped him I- I could have saved my sister I just feel like I'm not worth anything not this new family not you not everyone I should be with my sister and honestly I don't know what is stopping me from seeing her because nobody gives a damn about me". I was shocked by the things she said I never knew she thought about suicide.

"Don't said that Tess don't ever say that you don't mean that I care about you Tessa I care about you so much Tess, I have never cared about anyone this much before your my world baby". I see a little smile appear on her face as she wiped away a tear that escaped my eyes. I didn't even realizes that I cried. "I know you do Hardin I never thought I would know what love until I met you. I thought everyone was the same as my stepdad I had boyfriends before but it never worked out and I love you I really do so much" I smile and kiss her softly.

"I love you too Tess" I give a peck on her lips. "Come let's eat something do you maybe have any plans you wanted to do today Tess?" I look at her as she shakes her head " no not really I was maybe thinking about to have a movie day or something? If that's okay with you I don't know if you have any plans". " no I haven't I was thinking about it too to do a movie day just the two of us" I smile as I stand up and take her hand.

We walk downstairs into the kitchen " go sit down baby what do you want to eat?" "Egg with bacon please thank you Hardin" I nod as I make the eggs with bacon for the two of us. When I finished we eat our breakfast with milk. "Where are you parents" I turn around to face Tessa " they will be out till midnight I think a work thing I don't exactly so we have to cook for our self I hope you don't mind?" Tessa shakes her head " no of course not" I smile " okay let's go watch a movie " I kiss her again on her lips as we walk upstairs towards my room.

We climb in bed as we watch the first movie of the day. I smile hoping she didn't see it. But I'm really hopelessly in love with her. I had many girlfriends but they never let me felt this way the way Tessa does. I kiss her head as we watch the movie.