Chapter 50: "I'm not going to be a weapon."

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My first day was spent in my 'room', which was another fancy way of saying prison, awaiting orders. I was sitting on the bed, a servant girl standing in the corner of the room, hands clasped together and in front of her. I told her many times to sit on the plump couch in my room, but she refused, apologising and thanking me each time she did.

Such strange treatment for a prisoner.

My room was a decent size. A double bedspread with a golden backboard sat in the middle of the room, a red canopy above it. Two couches were pushed against opposite walls, and a small but clean bathroom was attached to my room. The most patriotic tapestries and paintings were literally nailed to the wall in my room, and never once had I encountered such patriotism in such high dosage.

It felt deeply intentional.

I had already been ordered to wash, of which my handmaiden had to help seeming as I didn't even have my fingers free. She kindly asked if I wanted to leave my hair down (inadvertently offering the option of covering up my burn in some sort of way.)

I refused. I told her to put it up.

A shiny, ruby-spotted comb sat at the top of my head, securing my long hair in a bun. I looked well groomed, I was the cleanest I had ever been, and I was wearing the best clothes I had ever touched, yet I felt misplaced.

Perhaps it was because I never wore such fine silks, or maybe it was because, through the small fire-shaped patterned holes in my door, I could see the courtyard with the fountain in it.

Eventually, my dinner was delivered to me. I was reluctant. I didn't touch it. My handmaiden, without any word from me, took a bite of each food on the plate and then returned it to me. After a minute or so of inspecting her for the fatal signs of dying brutally to some poisoned flower, I ate my food.

And I ate quickly, so much so that my stomach ached after I was done. Someone collected my tray.

Then I waited more. Then the lights in the palace went out until there were only the tiny oil lamps attached to every second banister to light a path in the night. My handmaiden opened a sliding door in my room, which connected to her quarters, and wished me a good night.

I weakly mumbled a good night back to her, and she left. I layed down in my bed, breathing out. The sleep came as quickly as it possibly could.

I awoke in the middle of the night

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I awoke in the middle of the night. The room was warm as that humid, stale air that swept all my previous nights in the fire nation had returned to me. It left me a sweating mess. I crept out of my bed, centring myself as my bound hands tried to sway me one way or another. Tip-toeing, I arrived outside the straw door that divided my handmaiden's and my room. The soft rumble of snoring told me she was sound asleep.

There were a few more hours till dawn, where it would be acceptable for me to be awake. In discarding whatever dignity I had, I used my teeth on the door handle to force it open. Surprisingly, it wasn't locked. But that didn't matter, it was like yard-time; a prisoner can stroll around the courtyard all they liked, guards still patrolled the walls, and the gates were impenetrable. It was like the Fire Nation dared me to escape so that they could laugh in my face when I so much as tried.

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