Dai Li's Personal Spy

Chapter 5: "What else can I do?"

A/N: ty to any engaged readers, I appreciate you <3 Also feel free to comment :)

We spent many days at sea, and I felt useless. There were no signs of the avatar on our trip. It was what I expected. I hoped we would start seeing more closer to the South Pole. But still, I was bored. I wasn't trusted with manning anything on that damn ship, and a lot of the time, I was told to stay behind when we docked. All I could do was write my boring reports for the Dai Li, but I couldn't even get those sent since I was not left off the ship into town.

It was like they didn't trust me. Now, I wasn't so sure I would be climbing the ranks in no time. Zuko avoided me as much as the crew did. Our last conversation was weeks ago when he told me of the strange men looking for me.

I had done two things so far: Set a destination to look for the Avatar and fight off a giant sea serpent. Yet none of the two seemed to be recognised by the crew.

I layed in my cot, staring at the metal roof. I once again fiddled with my bracelet. It was my fathers, or so I was told. My adoptive family said that it was payment to have them keep me, but they told me it ended up being worth nothing. I used to make up fantasies where it was his prized bracelet, passed down to him by his father. I imagined he gave it to me to remember him like he was sad to give me away. A touching fantasy, but that was all it was.

My Jade necklace, I didn't know where it was from. There was nothing like it in the Fire Nation; it was so unique. But when I moved to Ba Sing Se, I practically saw a thousand girls with the same one. I assumed it was my mother's. I think she was the Earth Bender. I only came to that conclusion because it was my father who owned the fiery ruby bracelet, something you can find in your average jewellery shop in the capital of the Fire Nation. It always glistened like no other, though.

I don't know why my parents had me; I was a mistake, I'm sure. But they obviously didn't want me or the trouble that came with me. Perhaps they just gave me away because I was a bastard baby born out of hate.

I felt tears well in my eyes. I blinked them back, not allowing myself to cry. I wouldn't. I lay there in self-pity, bored. Infinitely bored. I wanted to do something. I got up from my lumpy cot and strapped on my boots. I grabbed my coat. The days were getting colder, and the seas icier as we continued to the South Pole. I tied my hair up with the same red ribbon. No one talked about the fleshy mess that was my ears, but I knew they looked at them in curiosity. I walked down the hall of the crew's quarters.

The metal floors creaked as loud as they could, practically alerting the Dai Li to my presence. I peered into the rooms. There were men lounging around, playing Pai Sho and cards, smoking, and talking. I felt so out of place. I bunked alone because I was a woman, but it still was so isolating. I was never included or recognised. I was practically ignored.

I walked past one particular room with the rowdiest men inside. I tried to creep past, but it was no use. I could hear them mumble in secrecy and then I heard an even more annoying sound. A whistle. I stopped in my tracks and stared at the one who did it. He was in his 40s and definitely had some years of the sea behind him. He only smirked.

I was fuming. I was sick of all the silent treatment, sick of being ignored, and the only attention I got was a catcall. I noticed a glass on the table on the right wall. The bunks were on the left and back walls. Two men sat on the floor, one on top of his bunk on the left and the whistler on top of his on the back wall.

A wave of impulse came over me. Swiftly, with anger in my mind, I picked up the glass cup and pegged it at the back wall. A loud crash sounded, and I could hear the shards slip down the crack behind the bunk onto the floor. The room went quiet. I got up from my stance and grinned.