𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 | bsd x sousou no frieren

07

of course, it's still summer, with its blinding sun and ridiculous heatwaves. dazai had started counting how often he thought of moving to antarctica as soon as possible with the money he'd saved up, and it had come close to the number of times he thought of dying that day. impressive.

he was once again flopped down on the wooden surface of his office desk in the armed detective agency, pressing his cheek into the wood that had been nicely cooled by the air conditioner. kunikida was kind enough to allow it to be on full blast despite how they were gradually racking up electric bills.

("no, i am not letting you guys blast the air conditioner."

"kunikida, don't pretend that we can't see your sweat staining the back of your blazer. i can't even begin to imagine what your shirt looks like underneath all those layers."

KO!

"... fine."

mission success!)

"dazai, the more you slack off, the later i'm letting you leave the office today," kunikida said as he meticulously tapped the edges of a stack of paper against his desk, neatening them up into a nice pile. dazai wondered how many paper aeroplanes he could fold from those.

"kunikida-san, i don't think dazai-san is even listening to you right now," atsushi had turned to look over from his own desk. ah, dazai suddenly thought, it's time to get up again.

"and you're completely right about that, atsushi-kun!" the brown haired man stood up straight, hitting the top of his head into the blond man's chin. i didn't even notice that he got so close, dazai could feel his head throbbing slightly at the pain, ignoring the way the other man spluttered and flew back comically.

"and thus, i shall be taking my leave exactly," dazai looked down at his watchless wrist and gave a rough estimate, "5 hours early. buh-bye!"

he sped out of the door and slammed it shut before kunikida could regain his bearings from taking a (relatively weak) 'uppercut'.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

"what kind of show is this? an," the elf checked the title again before clicking back into the screen depicting netflix's newest release, "interactive game-show??"

"i think it's those kinds where they give you options and you choose them, and that changes the storyline or something," dazai answered, voice slightly muffled by the chips he was still crunching.

the two of them were curled up on the floor in front of the couch, eyes trained on the large screen of the television in front of them. the air conditioning was once again on full blast ("electric bills are temporary, global warming is forever. we're turning on the damn air conditioner today." "okay.") and blankets were thrown across their shoulders. a bowl of potato chips sat between them, slowly being emptied.

on the screen was the strange new show that the small elf was playing, who was gripping the remote with pure irritation. "what kind of 'would you rather' question was that? to choose between 'to love and lose' and 'to never love at all', of course the correct response is the second one! who asks for unnecessary emotional baggage, especially the romantic kind??"

"was this supposed to be a trivia game?" dazai asked, eye twitching slightly. the two of them shared similar views on relationships, after all.

"i think so. but what kind of question is that? why would you rather love and lose??" the elf was tempted to throw the remote at the television as they watched the character get pummelled to death by a giant rock.

"i think regular people happen to enjoy the pain of heartbreak over the freedom of staying single. something about how love is the strongest emotion of all, or something."

"that's bullshit."

"i know right."

"what kind of people make up this century? back in my time, lots of women had thoughts of running away from their lovers with their female friends..."

dazai tuned out after that, lazily licking the seasoning dust that clung to the pads of his fingers. whenever something like this came up, the elf had a habit of going off tangent and talking about time before they had fallen into that deep sleep, a world of mages and warriors and dragons and demons, something purely out of a fantasy novel.

it felt strange watching them get worked up like that, with dramatic hand gestures and twitching elf ears. it felt like watching them live through a time that didn't exist, again and again and again. maybe it was just dazai that didn't understand, he reasoned with himself, because living even just once was exhausting enough.

"... and the king was always so rude to us! ah," they stretched their arm to bring the remote closer to the television, glancing through the words on the screen and clicking the options. "an instrument?"

"the one on the right."

"thanks."

the room once again turned quiet, with only the sound from the television and the air conditioner accompanying them. the character in the show succeeded in stealing the expensive painting and sold it for a lot of money, and the story ended a little afterwards.

dazai huffed silently. odasaku would've written a better ending than this.

but still, he glanced over the elf's head out the window, watching clouds float across the azure blue skies, it wasn't an atrocious storyline.

it's a nice day today, despite the sun.

— LOVE, VEN

edited, proofread

i'm alive! *fucks off into the void again*

anyways the show mentioned in this chapter is on netflix it's called cat burglar i think

the question about loving infuriated me so much i needed to make it the main point of this chapter

i'm sorry for lack of posting i promise i haven't abandoned you guys :(