Witness

49. Chelsea

Kaiden's scream is guttural. 

I've never heard him make a sound like it in all the months we've known each other. It penetrates my ears and goes through my chest and cuts open my heart. It feels just as bad as a bullet would. 

He fights against the four people holding him back like his life depends on it, looking at me all over as soon as Damien lowers the gun. 

"Empty," Damien shrugs, just like that. "Five chances left." 

Russian roulette. 

Five empty slots, one bullet, no chance of knowing which shot will be air and which will be the one that'll end whoever the gun is pointing at. 

I don't think I'm breathing anymore. 

My lungs haven't moved since he fired that shot. 

I'm holding my hand against my stomach like Damien actually did shoot me there, but when I pull it away there's not a single drop of blood on my hand. 

Damien actually pressed the trigger down and shot me, not knowing whether I'd get the bullet or not. Screw bad bitch energy and not being scared. I don't think Damien cares whether I die or not now that Tony has gone. 

And Kaiden still walked into this house to come and get me; into this complete and utter chaos. 

Damien could seriously kill all three of us. 

Fuck. I can't breathe. 

I'm not breathing. 

Damien lifts the gun up to me again. 

"She's had her turn," Kaiden argues, still yelling. Did he ever stop yelling? Maybe my ears are filled with water now. Maybe I'm drowning in my own blood, and I did get shot after all. That one little bullet settling somewhere under my skin. 

I clutch my throat because nothing is happening. 

How are people breathing in this room? There's no air. 

Damien's hand turns to Kaiden instead. 

"No," I say, barely able to force the word out. "Damien, wait- no-" 

He presses his finger to the trigger and glances at me. I'm being held back too. I didn't even notice that Vik had taken hold of both of my shoulders, rooting me to the spot. 

"Wait," I say gently, nodding like it'll make him agree. "Just wait." 

"I'm the reason your brother is in jail," Kaiden says suddenly. "I called-"

"Stop!" I yell at him, tasting tears in my mouth. "He's lying! He is. He just wants you to shoot him instead of me. I called the cops that night, I lied to your face about it afterwards. I did it."

Still, the gun doesn't move. Remains pointed at Kaiden's rapidly rising and falling chest. 

"Chels," Kade murmurs. "Come on now. We both know I called them."

I don't look at him. 

"Please," I say to Damien instead. "Please. I promise you. It was me." 

"Your promises mean nothing," Damien says, and he presses the trigger. 

That hurts more. Way, way more. More than it would if he'd have pointed the shot at me. I've got tears streaming down my face and sounds coming out of my mouth I don't recognise, and oh God, please don't be the bullet-

Please, please, please. 

I'll pray. I'll go to Church. I'll forgive Damien for whatever bad things he's done in his life and I'll be here with a smile on my face every Friday like clockwork. As long as it wasn't the bullet.