Amethyst Giselle Washington
I sank into the couch in Dr. Vega's office, trying to chill, but my mind was racing. My therapist's calm demeanor was a welcome respite from the turmoil inside me. I fidgeted with my hands, trying to find the right words. I didn't know what the fuck to say.
"So, Amethyst, what brings you here today?" Dr. Vega asked, her voice professional and gentle. I was happy she broke the silence. Too many things were going on in my head. I felt love sick.
I took a deep breath, trying to put my thoughts into words. "I think I messed up. I hung out with my sisters and they decided to meet up with Cassius, and...I don't know. I think I still got feelings for him. I tried to avoid him all night but when it was all said and done he stayed over at my place but slept on the couch because I was too drunk to lock the door behind myself."
" it sounds like he had good intentions. Do you think he overstepped?"
" I think he was just trying to make sure I was safe." I sighed.
Dr. Vega nodded, her expression neutral. "Can you tell me more about these feelings? What's the nature of your relationship with Cassius? You haven't gone into much details about why you don't want to be with him."
I hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. But Dr. Vega's non-judgmental attitude put me at ease. I knew I couldn't straight up tell her about a crime though. She could report it if she felt I were in danger.
"We got history, both good and bad. It's complicated. We met in a dark place, and I ended things because I couldn't deal with that trauma no matter how good he was to me. But seeing him again...it brought up all these old feelings I've been avoiding for a year."
The memories came flooding back - the drama, the pain, the secrets. I couldn't share all that with Dr. Vega, though. Some things were too real, too raw. I don't think she'd understand fully.
I didn't want my mind back to that moment, but being around Cassius again made me feel like I was stuck in the past. All I could think about all night was how my knight in shining armor was also my warden.
Dr. Vega leaned forward, her voice calm and soothing. "It sounds like you're struggling with some intense emotions, Amethyst. Can you tell me what's holding you back from exploring these feelings with him further?"
I looked down, my voice low. "I feel like I'm betraying myself, you know? Like I'm going against my own rules. And there's something else...something I can't quite put into words."
Dr. Vega nodded thoughtfully. "It's like you're caught between two worlds, Amethyst. The past and the present are colliding, and it's hard to navigate."
I nodded, feeling a lump form in my throat. "Exactly. I don't know how to move forward."
Dr. Vega's expression was empathetic. "We'll work through it together. One step at a time. Just acknowledging these feelings takes courage. Let's take it from here. Can you tell me more about what you hope to achieve in our sessions?"
I thought for a moment before answering. "I guess I want to figure out why I still have feelings for Cassius, and how to move past them. I want to be able to close that chapter of my life and move on. I want to learn how to forgive myself and him, and how to heal."
Dr. Vega nodded, her eyes warm with understanding. "Those are all great goals, Amethyst. Forgiveness and healing are processes, but they're possible. Let's work on uncovering the root of these feelings and develop strategies to help you move forward."
I felt a glimmer of hope, a sense that maybe, just maybe, I could overcome these forbidden feelings and find peace.
I took a deep breath, asking the question that had been weighing on my mind. "Dr. Vega, do you think two people could be together if one of them allowed others to hurt their partner? I mean, can they really move past that and have a healthy relationship?"
