Broken but not shattered

Chapter 9

Vivian's POV

I walk through the front door, and it's quiet. Jamie was still at my mom's, and most of the time, I would have welcomed some quiet time alone. Right now, I am wishing for a distraction. Sitting on the couch, the only thing I think of is Siobhan. Her beautiful blue eyes reminded me of the moonlight. Her soft hands in mine. Her body is lying against mine as she sleeps. What I wouldn't give to be back there with her in my arms. I didn't realize I was crying till I felt something wet hit my hands. I wiped the tears away, but the more I think of Siohban, the more I sob. I feel bad for leaving the way I did, and it might be selfish of me, but I couldn't stay there. 

A knock at the door brings me back to reality. Who could that be? Jamies is not supposed to be home till tomorrow. Quickly wiping the tears from my face, I get up and go to the door. When I opened the door I saw something or should I say someone I was not expecting.

"Siobhan," I asked puzzled. "What are you doing here?" She was fidgeting with her hands, and even though I hadn't known her for long, I know she is not a fidgeter. She must be nervous.

"I need to talk to you," she tried to say confidently. I'm hesitant to let her in, but I do anyway. At least if she's here, I know she's safe. She walks in, and I lead her to the living room.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" I honestly didn't know what else to say or do after the way I left.

"No thank you" She answered.

She sat at one end of the couch and sat at the other. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

"Siobhan, what are you doing here? You shouldn't have left Marjorie; what if Roger had found you?" I know it's only a 10-minute drive, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to her. 

"First I don't think Roger is going to come look for me anytime soon after what Reece and Autumn did to him and second I needed to talk to you" She said the last part, staring at her hands. All I wanted to do was hold her and let her know everything would be alright, but I don't. Instead, I say, "What did you need to talk to me about?"

Siobhan's POV

As she let me in, I could see she had been crying. I want to hug her and never let go, but I doubt she would be ok with that after everything. She led me into the living room, and as I sit on the couch, she asks me, "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No, thank you," I simply answered. She sat at the other end of the couch. She was trying to get as far away from me as possible. I don't blame her; I really hurt her. Maybe I made a mistake coming here. Well, it's too late, now I'm here.

"Siobhan, what are you doing here? You shouldn't have left Marjorie; what if Roger had found you?"  She sounded worried for me. 

"First, I don't think Roger is going to come look for me anytime soon after what Reece and Autumn did to him, and second, I needed to talk to you." I look down at my hands, not able to meet her eyes. "What did you need to talk to me about?" She asked. 

I start to panic. I don't know where to start. I don't know if I can do this. "This was a mistake I shouldn't have come. I should leave." I said as I stand up and being to walk to the door.

"Wait, Siobhan," I heard her say, but I don't listen. I have to leave.

"Siobhan," I heard her again. Still I don't stop. My hand is now on the handle. 

"Angel, stop." This stopped me in my tracks. My hand is still on the door handle, and I'm still facing the door. I can't bring myself to turn around and face her, but she has different ideas as she gently grabs my arm, turns me around, and pulls me into a hug. "Angel, don't run from me." She whispered.

My arms wrapped around her waist, my head laid on her chest, and I sobbed "I'm sorry I hurt you I never want to do that"

"I won't lie, Angel, I was a little hurt by what you said, but I'll get over it. You can't help how you feel, just like I can't. All I know is I need you in my life in any way you will allow and know I will always be here for you even if it's just as friends." She says as she is stroking my hair. I should tell her how I feel. I need to tell her how I feel, but something is holding me back. Why can't I just say it? 

Then I remembered what Marjorie said, "Well, are you going to let it walk away forever? Or are you going to go fight for her?". She's right; I have to fight for her, and I will cause I can't lose her. "What if I lied?" I said, but still had my head buried in her chest. She didn't say anything or even acknowledge she heard me for a minute. Then she slightly pulled away, putting her finger under my chin to make me look at her. This makes me blush. I hope she doesn't notice.

Vivian's POV

"What if I lied?". I froze. She can't mean what I think she means, can she? I pull away just enough to be able to lift her chin and make her look me in the eye. I can see the blush that appears on her face, and it's the cutest thing I have ever seen. No, Vivian, focus, I say to myself.

"What do you mean?" I asked, but I am pretty sure I already know what she means. 

"I-I mean I lied to Marjorie." She stutters. It doesn't go unnoticed by me that she still hasn't let go of me. I can't complain though; if it was up to me, I would never let her go. "About what?". I already know, but I need to hear her say it. She goes to say something but stops. 

"Angel, why can't you say it?" I ask gently, so she knows I'm not judging her or mad at her. I want to understand her. I want to know what is happening in her head. And I want to help her fight whatever demons are fighting. She hugs me tighter but looks to the side and says, "I was raised; this was wrong. That if I gave into my desires God would punish me. That it is the ultimate sin. And were as I not super religious anymore I guess it has just been programmed into me."

"Oh, my sweet Angel, look at me." I paused, and she slowly did look at me. "There is nothing wrong with having feelings for a woman. I am so sorry you were raised to hide a piece of yourself just because other people felt it was wrong or unnatural, but that is so far from the truth. You are allowed to love whoever you want." I said softly as my hands came up to cup her face, hoping she would hear me. She started crying again and buried her face into my chest before saying "I'm falling in love with you to"

"Don't worry Angel, I'll catch you"

A/N: I had planned for this to be longer, but I feel like this is a good end for this chapter. But I am already working on the next chapter and plan on having it up at some point tonight. Let me know what you think so far, and as always, thank you for reading.