Broken but not shattered

Chapter 4

The next morning 

Siobhan's POV

Waking up I can feel the sun on my face. Odd there are no windows in Roger's room. Slowly opening my eyes. I look around and realize this isn't my room. Where am I? As I try and figure out where I am I notice that someone's arm is around my waist. It couldn't be Roger he would never cuddle me. I sit up and look over and see Marjorie still asleep and it was like a floor gate opened. Everything that happened last night came rushing back. Work, the bar, Marjorie coming to get me and taking me to her home, the conversation. Oh god. She knows. How could I have been so stupid? What if Roger finds out? I have to get out of here. 

I quickly jump out of the bed and run to the bathroom. I could hear Marjorie wake up "Siobhan what happened you ok?" still haft asleep. I just ignore her and get dressed. I walk out and Marjorie is now up and more alert "You ok my love?". 

"I'm fine. Can you take me home now?" I asked coldly. 

"Are you sure you want to go back? You don't have to" worry lacing her voice.

"Of course, I do where else would I go?" I said trying to seem cold and unemotional, but I knew what awaited me when I got home.

"You could stay here" she offered. It was a genuine offer and a small piece of my heart is telling me to accept, but I can't. Roger would find me and kill me and Marjorie would be collateral damage.

"No, I can't I belong there I belong to him and nothing can change that," I say. Accepting my fate. 

"My love you don't BELONG to anyone. You are your own person. You have the power to change your life. You just have to be brave enough to reach your hand out and ask for help". I wish I could believe that but I stopped being my own person the second I met Roger it just took me too long to see that. She continued "Do you trust me?". 

"I want to Marjorie, but I can't. I'll meet you in the car" and with that, I left her standing in her room with tears threatening to spill. I know she wants to help me. I want that too, more than anything. I want to be able to help myself, but I'm too weak. 

Marjorie got in the car and started to drive me home. We rode in silence till she pulled into the driveway. "Siobhan, Please think about this. You don't have to go in there. Say the word and I will turn this car around" Marjorie tries once again, but to no avail. 

"Marjorie I have to go in. I wish I was able to walk away from him, but if I do he will find me and whoever helped me will become collateral damage. You don't deserve that. I know what I have done and said in the past maybe this is my karma" Tears stream down my face at this point.

"My love, you don't deserve this no matter what you have done or said, but it's your choice I won't force you just know I'm here when you ready and if you ever need me you call me anytime ok? I already put my number in your phone" she said bringing her hand up to my face and wiping my tears. 

"Thank you" I whispered before getting out and walking to the door. 

Marjorie's POV

"Marjorie I have to go in. I wish I was able to walk away from him, but if I do he will find me and whoever helped me will become collateral damage. You don't deserve that. I know what I have done and said in the past maybe this is my karma" Siobhan said now crying. It still surprises me when I see her cry, but I think it shows that she trusts me even if it's just a small amount. But it breaks my heart to hear her say that she deserves any of this. 

"My love, you don't deserve this no matter what you have done or said, but it's your choice I won't force you just know I'm here when you ready and if you ever need me you call me anytime ok? I already put my number in your phone". I wish I could convince her not to go but I know it ultimately has to be her decision, not mine. All I can do is be there when she is ready, and until then I will look out for her the best I can. 

"Thank you" she whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear her. And just like that she was walking away from my car and into the lion's den. 

Siobhan's POV

Before I could open the door it swung open and I felt a hand grip my wrist so hard I could feel it start to bruise and pull me inside. As soon as the door was closed he let go of my wrist and put it on my throat, squeezing just as tight, slamming me against the door. The door handle dug into my Back "Where the fuck have you been" he growled.

"I'm sorry Roger I went to the bar and got too drunk and Marjorie came to get me. She let me sleep it off at her place." I told him the truth knowing that it doesn't matter what I tell him. He is still going to beat me. At least telling the truth means that if I survive this he won't come back and do it again when he figures out I lied. Cause he always figures it out.

"You were supposed to come straight home from work. Who said you could go to the bar?" He asked. My voice is caught in my throat, which he is still squeezing as hard as he can without completely cutting off my air. "Bitch I asked you a question," he screamed and threw me to the ground. I gasped for air and quickly responded "No one Roger. I'm sorry it won't happen again"hoping that this would be the end of it, but I know better. Still on the floor he walks over to me and kicks me in the stomach. Coughing and still trying to catch my breath he grabs my face "You will be sorry". If only I had been strong enough to leave. Letting go of my face I drop back onto the floor. "Get up," he said in an eerily calm voice. I scramble to my feet. He walked up to me and just looked at me for a minute. Right before he punched me in the face. Sending me flying backward into the table next to the door. He smirked and with a chuckle said "You're pathetic". I could tell he was enjoying this. He grabs me and throws me into the wall. At this moment I could not help but think of what Vivian said that night"If you let this continue he will kill you one day". I don't want to die. 

He knocks me out of my thoughts with a slap to the face. I fall to the ground "Roger Please I'm sorry. Please stop" I beg him to stop he just laughs at me. He grabs the back of my hair and drags me up the stairs and into our bedroom or should I say his bedroom. You should feel safe and comfortable in your bedroom and that was certainly not the case for me. Throwing me on the bed he said "There is no use in begging you know the rules you have to be punished". He was definitely enjoying this. 

He got on top of me and as he began to take my pants off I zone out staring at the ceiling. As he violates me I think about Vivian. Her black hair reminded me of the black of midnight. Her soft hands as she gently examined me. Being sure not to hurt me. Her eyes showed me comfort and freedom. I don't know why I keep thinking about her but at this moment I'm happy that she won't leave my mind.

He finishes and gets off me. "I'm going out with some friends. Don't go anywhere. Do you understand me" 

"Yes" It came out no louder than a squeaky. 

I heard the front door open and close and the car pull out. When I know it's safe I go to clean myself up, but when I put pressure on my wrist pain shoots through my wrist. He must have sprained or maybe even broken it when he threw me into the wall. I slowly walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. Taking the rest of my close off I look into the mirror. I can see new bruises forming. The one on my neck just getting darker. My wrist is starting to swell and my nose is bleeding from when he punched me. Then I noticed the blood on my legs. He's getting more violent each time. 

I  get into the shower and sit under the scolding hot water wanting to burn away his touch. I don't know how long I sat there crying before I finally got up and got out. 

As I got dressed I felt more and more pain. I need to call someone, but who would care? I pick up my phone and scroll through my contacts before landing on one.

"Hello" they answer

"Can you come over"