Broken but not shattered

Chapter 2

Morning after the hospital 

Siobhan's POV

I woke up this morning in more pain than I went to sleep in. Turning over Roger is still asleep I look over at the clock it's 7:38 am. Roger gets up at 8. I get out of bed not wanting to disturb him, knowing if I wake him up before his alarm there will be hell to pay. I go to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Looking in the mirror I can see the buries on my neck and you can clearly see the fingers that wrapped around her throat not even 14 hours earlier. I have to cover at the nursery today, how am I going to hide this? I sure as hell can't walk in there like this. Luckily I found a turtle neck in my closet. Looking once more in the mirror, ensuring there were no other visible bruises. Finding none I walk out of the bathroom making sure to not wake up Roger. It's now 7:50 I leave the bedroom to head to the kitchen to make his coffee.

Walking down the hallway I get to the top of the stairs. Stopping remembering everything that happened the night before. My hand goes to my neck where the distinctive handprint from Roger now lays. Then my mind wonders to a certain black hair woman with the most beautiful and comforting eyes. I physically shake my trying to shake the thoughts about her. I push all of that to the side, walk down the stairs, and start his coffee. I begin to clean the kitchen knowing if he comes downstairs to a mess he is going to be pissed. As I'm cleaning I start to think how I got into this mess. When I first started dating Roger he was kind and loving. Showing me with expensive gifts saying I deserved every last penny that it cost. But slowly over time, he started to make little comments about my body. Like maybe you should go on a diet or should you really be eating that?  Then he started to control what I wore saying that no one wanted to see me dress like a slut. Anytime I had to go to business meets or parties with him, and he noticed men started to pay attention to me he would politely excuse us and we would head home. But when we got home he would yell and call me names. Then eventually he started hitting me, but until now he always made sure that it could be covered up easily enough with clothes. I used to think that people who started in abusive relationships were just weak guess I was right cause I feel so weak  I could break at any moment.

I heard Roger coming downstairs knocking me out of my thought. I quickly rush to finish his coffee and hand it to him when he walks in. 

 "Good morning Mommy," he said taking a sip of his coffee. That nickname has always made me want to gag, but I don't dare ask him to stop for fear of what he might do.

"Good morning babe, did you sleep well" he only nodded before leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. When he pulls away he brings his hand up to the top of my turtle neck and pulls it down slightly to look at the buries leaning in to lightly kiss my neck pulling away and whispering in my ear "I'm sorry I got too carried away last night, but you just made me so angry"

I wanted to push him off, to tell him to go to hell, to just run away and never look back. And in that instant, I thought of Vivian. Her words of concern last night seemed to be genuine, but why would she care about me? That's not important I push these thoughts out of my head and simply reply "It's fine Roger" I feel sick to my stomach. He smiles at me and walks to the living room. It's 8:30. I need to leave soon "Roger I have to go. I covering over at the nursery today". I head to the door but I don't hear any response so I pause for a second. Then I hear Roger walking to the door. 

"Wow hold on can't I get a proper goodbye" He said as he leaned down to me a kiss. Every time he hurts me after he makes an effort to be affectionate with me. Like it makes up for what he has done, but I just accept it and try and walk out the door again. But he stops me "One more thing be home on time, this time would want a repeat of last night". I smile and nod at him finally leaving the house. 

I drove to work in silence. Parked the car and sat there for a few minutes preparing myself to spend the day with Marjorie. I finally get out and walk inside being greeted by Agatha. I said hi and kept walking not in the mood to talk with anyone.