How to Survive South Park

The Final Game Part 5 - Standing Strong

Dovah's POV:

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't easily surprised.

For someone who's as interested as me when it comes to pretty much everything South Park-related, most brand new discoveries can be pretty surprising.

Then there are my sisters who are constantly surpassing my expectations.

Then there's the typical South Park bullshit that still manages to surprise me every once in a while.

But now? This is one of those moments when I'm completely and utterly speechless.

It wasn't because of my sisters and I running into towers that started firing at us rather than the enemies all around us, something that isn't possible in the canon game.

It wasn't because of my family running into some gingerfied South Parkers that were our allies and also not ginger like ten minutes ago.

It wasn't because of my family running into a couple ginger incubation pods with some other former-allied South Parkers being transformed into more gingers at a visible pace (although that was pretty freaky to see up close).

It wasn't because of Karen and Tricia asking if they could enter those incubation pods and transform into gingers too because they were confident that they could resist whatever brainwashing/mind-altering said pods did during the metamorphosis, get a small power boost and several new abilities like 'Soul Infusion' and 'Soul Sacrifice' that ginger kids in cut SOT content have, and simply have T.K. and I make them look normal again right after.

(("You only have yourself to blame for influencing them like that."))

'Shut up, T.K.'

The answer was no, by the way.

(("Because we could optimize that metamorphosis/class unlock way better than the ginger naturally can, right?"))

...No comment.

Anyway, while all those things were surprising, they didn't leave me completely dumbfounded.

The recording CEO Cartman sent me around half an hour into my trek through the Ginger Forest Foxhole most certainly did.

I had T.K. play it in my head. Then had him play it again and once more just to be sure and jesus fucking christ, that guy is way fucking scarier then I thought.

I've always said that Eric Cartman could become absolutely terrifying if he grew the fuck up and actually learned a lesson every once in a while instead of claiming he did with the 'y'know, I learned something today' bullshit.

This guy proved me right. Oh boy, did he prove me right.

Even now, with all the power and support I have, CEO Cartman fucking scares me. He manipulated me and everyone else so much more than I could've ever imagined, and while I've broken out of his little game board now to become a genuine player against him, just how long it really took to do so was a real fucking eye-opener.

At the very least, the Dark Angel will no longer be a problem and my chances against the Announcer just became a whole lot better if Cartman goes all-out with the reinforcements.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely elated over the Dark Angel's fate. My revenge went better than I could've imagined thanks to the CEO's aid.

I hated her more than anybody, even the Butters of my original timeline. She ruined my life not once but twice; she's to blame for so much of my family's pain. So I should be happy after seeing the recording of her life crashing down around her.